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Some people think newspaper is the most effective way to obtain the latest information because it has more influence than other forms of media. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think newspaper is the most effective way to obtain the latest information because it has more influence than other forms of media. v. 1
In recent day, information is delivered in various forms such as printed and electronic modes. Many people assume that printed-newspaper is the most effective method to get hold of up to date information and extremely influential compares to other types of media. I strongly disagree that the newspaper is the best option to get current information. The advance of communication technology such as the invention of smart-phone has completely changed people behaviour, especially in term of acquiring information. For instance, despite reading a printed-newsletter, people prefer to use a device to access electronic news such as Jakarta Post, The Guardian, and other news websites. Beside handy and convenient, this method is saving much time since people could search for the intended-news which they are looking for. Moreover, the amount of information provided by electronic media forms is abundance, therefore it could meet the people need. In addition, the information provided by electronic media forms is more up to date compared to printed-media form since the publisher need no extra time in term of printing and distributing process. The printed-newspaper is seen as one of a contributor to environmental damage because of using paper as basic material. Furthermore, out of date newspapers rarely use for other purposes and it becomes a pile of garbage that could lead to environmental pollution and ruining the scenery. In conclusion, I consider that the newspaper is not the best way to get the newest information because there are other forms of media provided the fastest and cheapest information.
In recent day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is delivered
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
such as printed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
modes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that printed-newspaper is the most effective method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hold of up to date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
extremely
influential compares to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of media.

I
strongly
disagree that the newspaper is the best option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
information.

The advance of communication technology such as the invention of smart-phone has completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
especially
in term of acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
For instance
, despite reading a printed-newsletter,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a device to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
news such as Jakarta Post, The Guardian, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
news websites. Beside handy and convenient, this method is saving much time since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could search for the intended-news which they are looking for.
Moreover
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
is abundance,
therefore
it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
is more up to date compared to printed-media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
since the publisher need no extra time in term of printing and distributing process.

The printed-newspaper is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as one of a contributor to environmental damage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of using paper as basic material.
Furthermore
, out of date newspapers rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes and it becomes a pile of garbage that could lead to environmental pollution and ruining the scenery.

In conclusion
, I consider that the newspaper is not the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the newest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of media provided the fastest and cheapest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think newspaper is the most effective way to obtain the latest information because it has more influence than other forms of media. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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