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Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs. v. 5
With the advent of information bombardment, more and more individuals read daily news as a hobby. Paradoxically, some people see no relation between news and people’s lives, hence suggesting news reading may be time-consuming. This essay will discuss why I totally disagree with this proposition in terms of educational perspective. To begin with, news provide a large quantity of common knowledge in various fields. Specifically, phenomenon of watching news programs will support you in forming comprehensive viewpoints about every day issues. Not only can you have your own stance when judging any occasions, but you also have more topics to discuss with friends in daily talks. For instance, reading, a wide range of news categories such as politics, economy, and entertainment will broaden your spectrum of knowledge. If you are specialized in any fields like medicine or science, medical and scientific news will intensify your knowledge accumulation. In addition, shaping good personal habit of reading the news will bring massive societal advantages. As a matter of fact, that a majority of citizens get updated about the latest news results in erudite population. In this case, the community will necessarily benefit from such kinds of people. For example, people usually update themselves by reading a plethora of modern topics, so as not to become an obsolete and decadent individual. But more fundamentally, newspaper and television programs usually break the news so as to make incidences known. Although some events may not be relevant to people’s lives, this occurrence properly hinders the chance of wrongdoings due to being condemned by society. To conclude, this essay provided numerous benefits of reading or watching the news involving knowledge gaining and social merits. In my opinion, I completely disagree with that proposition for becoming an erudite citizen.
With the advent of information bombardment, more and more individuals read daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a hobby.
Paradoxically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
no relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
hence
suggesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
may be time-consuming. This essay will discuss why I
totally
disagree with this proposition in terms of educational perspective.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
provide a large quantity of common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in various fields.
Specifically
, phenomenon of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
programs will support you in forming comprehensive viewpoints about every day issues. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can you have your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
stance when judging any occasions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you
also
have more topics to discuss with friends in daily talks.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
categories such as politics, economy, and entertainment will broaden your spectrum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. If you
are specialized
in any fields like medicine or science, medical and scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will intensify your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
accumulation.

In addition
, shaping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personal habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will bring massive societal advantages. As a matter of fact, that a majority of citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated about the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
results in erudite population.
In this case
, the community will
necessarily
benefit from such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
update themselves by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a plethora of modern topics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to become an obsolete and decadent individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
more
fundamentally
, newspaper and television programs
usually
break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
incidences known. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
may not be relevant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, this occurrence
properly
hinders the chance of wrongdoings due to
being condemned
by society.

To conclude
, this essay provided numerous benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
or watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gaining and social merits. In my opinion, I completely disagree with that proposition for becoming an erudite citizen.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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