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Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. Give reasons for your answer and include any relev v.9

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. 9
Many divergent views exist on how best to regulate working hours in the 21st century. A great number of people, including myself, are of the opinion that advancement in technical platforms and automation have curtailed the need for manual work; hence, working hours should be minimized. In this essay, I will explain the rationale for my viewpoint on the matter. The primary reason to reduce employees’ working hours is that most of the work in companies nowadays with the advancement in technology can be completed without human interaction. It goes without saying that when companies acquire advanced automation technology to automate and improve their production, they do not require large numbers of the workforce to complete most of the manual tasks. The Audi automobile companycompany is a shining example of this. They had to staff many labours to fulfil the car production requirements, but in 2007, they obtained robotics arms which can build many cars in a day compared to human staff. As a result, they were able to reduce their staff hours and hired technical force to maintain the robots. Not only such technology leads to a reduction of manual interaction, but it also benefits a company to a great extent. It stands to the reason that more technology company acquires, more profit will company make. This means that if 100 employees’ tasks can be completed by one single worker with the advancement in communication technologies such as email, phone, and the internet, then they will be able to save an enormous amount of money from an individual’s salary and benefits. Unsurprisingly, a 2007 study conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that 70% of companies were able to recover from their debt after implementing a new communication platform that allowed employees to work from home as these companies were able to save money on physical office space. To sum up, I hold to the opinion that working hours should be reduced as this can be beneficial to the companies to improve their production and profit through advance technological platforms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
divergent views exist on how best to regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in the 21st century. A great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including myself, are of the opinion that advancement in technical platforms and automation have curtailed the need for manual work;
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
should
be minimized
. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the rationale for my viewpoint on the matter.

The primary reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
employees’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is that most of the work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
nowadays with the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
be completed
without human interaction. It goes without saying that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
acquire advanced automation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to automate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their production, they do not require large numbers of the workforce to complete most of the manual tasks. The Audi automobile
Possible spelling mistake found.
companycompany
is a shining example of this. They had to staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
to fulfil the car production requirements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2007, they obtained robotics arms which can build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cars in a day compared to human staff.
As a result
, they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and hired technical force to maintain the robots.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
leads to a reduction of manual interaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
benefits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to a great extent. It stands to the reason that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
acquires, more profit will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. This means that if 100 employees’ tasks can
be completed
by one single worker with the advancement in communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as email, phone, and the internet, then they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to save an enormous amount of money from an individual’s salary and benefits.
Unsurprisingly
, a 2007 study conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to recover from their debt after implementing a new communication platform that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
employees to work from home as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to save money on physical office space.

To sum up, I hold to the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as this can be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their production and profit through advance technological platforms.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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