Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think it is acceptable to use animals for the benefit of humans. Other people think it is wrong to exploit animals for human purposes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ( discursive essay) v.2

Some people think it is acceptable to use animals for the benefit of humans. Other people think it is wrong to exploit animals for human purposes. ( discursive essay) v. 2
In the contemporary society, there is a growing tendency for people, especially medical researchers, big companies and farmers, to use animals for their benefits such as testing new drugs and products, working in the farm etc. On the other hand, some people hold the opposite opinion that it is better to protect animals, give them a liberated/ free life. As fas as I am concerned, it is necessary to look at both sides/ the negative and positive aspects of the argument before forming an opinion. To begin with, animals play an vital role in scientific research such as testing new medicine, medical treatments and products. As we know, Animals share many features with humans, scientist use animals to test the safety and effectiveness of newly developed drugs before pilot testing on small groups of patients. Without animal testing, many procedures of new drugs would be extremely unsafe. It means that many medical treatments and goods have been developed from experiments on animals. Many people, however, argue that it is wrong to cause suffering to animals for the benefit of humans. It is admitted that animals are the member of the Earth, they also have their own right to live under freedom/liberty, which has no hunting and war. The lives of animals should be respected, and Humans have no moral rights to do experiments on animals. Therefore, Individuals should receive the duty to protect the endangered and rare species which play an important role in nature. In addition, There are useful alternative forms of research available now, sush as the use of tissue cell cultures, so that no need to put the animals into the unnecessary suffering. Besides that, technology has largely replaces the use of animals in the fields of transport. So as I said, using animals adequately is not a gorgeous thing. From what has been discussed above, we may draw safely conclusion that the advantage of protecting animals more significant than its disadvantage, and it will still play an essential role in the future. It is time to concentrate on developing alternative sources of food and methods of research, and allow animals a liberated/free existence.
In the contemporary society, there is a growing tendency for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
medical researchers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and farmers, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their benefits such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
new drugs and products, working in the farm etc.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opposite opinion that it is better to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, give them a liberated/ free life. As
Possible spelling mistake found.
fas
as I
am concerned
, it is necessary to look at both sides/ the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of the argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming an opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role in scientific research such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
new medicine, medical treatments and products. As we know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
features with humans, scientist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the safety and effectiveness of
newly
developed drugs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pilot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
groups of patients. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
procedures of new drugs would be
extremely
unsafe. It means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medical treatments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
have
been developed
from experiments on animals.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, argue that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to cause suffering to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the benefit of humans. It
is admitted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are the member of the Earth, they
also
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under freedom/liberty, which has no hunting and war. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be respected
, and Humans have no moral rights to do experiments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Therefore
, Individuals should receive the duty to protect the endangered and rare species which play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in nature.
In addition
, There are useful alternative forms of research available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sush
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of tissue cell cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that no need to put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
into the unnecessary suffering.
Besides
that, technology has
largely
replaces the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the fields of transport.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as I said, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
adequately
is not a gorgeous thing.

From what has
been discussed
above, we may draw
safely
conclusion that the advantage of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
more significant than its disadvantage, and it will
still
play an essential role in the future. It is time to concentrate on developing alternative sources of food and methods of research, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
a liberated/free existence.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is acceptable to use animals for the benefit of humans. Other people think it is wrong to exploit animals for human purposes. ( discursive essay) v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts