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Which opinion do you agree with? Some people say that the Internet provides us with a lot of valuable information. Others believe that too much information on the net causes many problems. v.3

Which opinion do you agree with? Some people say that the Internet provides us with a lot of valuable information. Others believe that too much information on the net causes many problems. v. 3
During the information revolution in the 20th century, people created one of the greatest inventions, the Internet. With the help of the Internet, modern people could have a high-efficient routine life and productive work. However now some people claim that too much information form the Internet bring us many problems while other people think that the information provided by the Internet is valuable and significant. In my opinion, I do also believe that the information online is valuable and vital. Through the information in the Internet, people could use this to have access more choices and make a better decision. The information has been always been a viral role in the decision-making process of human. With our the help of internet, people will take more time to make a good decision. For example, I could save money by the information from comparing items in different online shops. Once I want to buy a coat. Instead of going shopping outside for the whole day, I used the Alibaba and Tao Bao web at home. I could see more coats in different online shops and save more money with large discounts than the shopping mall. Also I didn' t need to walk all buy and it saved my time. Therefore, the information online has help people a lot in the decision-making process. Additionally, the information online has promoted us to communicate with each other no matter the geographic and language barriers even the time limit. Using the social networking applications which have connect people all around the world with the flows of the information through the Internet. For instance, I could make pen pal all over the world. I have had 2 pen pals from 2014 till now. I' m in China and they are from the US and the UK. Even we are in different country and between a large time difference we still could exchange our opinions and thoughts through the e-mails. Also when the Facebook has became the hit, I could chat with each other every day when we were online. In this case, the information on the Internet provides people briages to communicate and understand with each other. In summary the information in the Internet enables people to make a better choose and close the distance and promote the communication between each other. And taking every aspects in to fall consideration, the Internet provide people valuable information.
During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
revolution in the 20th century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
created one of the greatest inventions, the Internet. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the Internet, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could have a high-efficient routine life and productive work.
However
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Did you mean "from"?
form
the Internet bring us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided by the Internet is valuable and significant. In my opinion, I do
also
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is valuable and vital.

Through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this to have access more choices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a better decision. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'has' and 'been'.
has been always
been a viral role in the decision-making process of human. With our the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision.
For example
, I could save money by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from comparing items in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a coat.
Instead
of going shopping outside for the whole day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Alibaba and Tao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bao
web at home. I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more coats in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops and save more money with large discounts than the shopping mall.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t need to walk all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and it saved my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a lot in the decision-making process.

Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has promoted us to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
no matter the geographic and language barriers even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
limit. Using the social networking applications which have
Use past participle here: "connected".
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world with the flows of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through the Internet.
For instance
, I could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
pen pal all over the world. I have had 2 pen pals from 2014 till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
China and
they are from the US and the UK. Even we are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country and between a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
difference we
still
could exchange our opinions and thoughts through the e-mails.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
when the Facebook has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
the hit, I could chat with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
every day when we were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
In this case
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the Internet provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
briages
to communicate and understand with each other.

In summary the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a better choose and close the distance and promote the communication between each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. And taking every aspects in to fall consideration, the Internet provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Which opinion do you agree with? Some people say that the Internet provides us with a lot of valuable information. Others believe that too much information on the net causes many problems. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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