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Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. v. 7
Technological advancements have changed the nature of crime prevention. A number of people believe that cutting-edge technology can play an effective role in fighting against crime, and reduce the crime rates. I completely agree with this view and I think that a state-of-the-art technology can be a great instrument of crime prevention strategies. How can high-end technology help the governments to fight against crime? First of all, many governments now are considerably benefiting from the latest technological developments such as surveillance systems and drones. Surveillance systems and drones, which can be acted as a crime deterrent, have become two of the most-preferred and effective technologies to fight against crime in 21th century. For example, after the huge investment of surveillance technologies in 2016, China government reduced the rate of committing crime by 23% in the following year. Therefore, it is clearly seen that modern technological tools can deter people from committing a crime. Secondly, some governments use other cutting-edge technologies to prevent crime. Crime mapping technology, which help criminals to detect quickly in a massive database is one of the latest technologies in crime prevention. Such a technology can refrain potential criminals from committing a crime. They are aware of the fact that they can be caught by the police department, which use crime mapping technology if they commit a crime. For instance, the homicide rate in Iceland has been decreased by up to 95% and Iceland, today, has become the safest country in the world. In conclusion, technological advancements can help police departments to prevent a crime. Modern digital technologies such as surveillance cameras, drones, and crime mapping technology can play a major role in preventing crime and deter potential criminals from crime.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technological
advancements have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that cutting-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can play an effective role in fighting against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a state-of-the-art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be a great instrument of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention strategies.

How can high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
?
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
considerably
benefiting from the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
developments such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveillance
systems and drones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Surveillance
systems and drones, which can
be acted
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
deterrent, have become two of the most-preferred and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century.
For example
, after the huge investment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in 2016, China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the rate of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by 23% in the following year.
Therefore
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
tools can deter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing a crime.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other cutting-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
mapping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
criminals to detect
quickly
in a massive database is one of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention. Such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can refrain potential criminals from committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. They are aware of the fact that they can
be caught
by the police department, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
mapping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
if they commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For instance
, the homicide rate in Iceland has
been decreased
by up to 95% and Iceland,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, has become the safest country in the world.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advancements can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
police departments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Modern digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surveillance
cameras, drones, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
mapping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can play a major role in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and deter potential criminals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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