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In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believeing it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion about this? v.39

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believeing it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion about this? v. 39
Although the demand for housing is increasing day by day and there are no places in cities to build those houses, some people argue that the countryside should be protected and building accommodation in there is not acceptable. I disagree with them. In my opinion, I believe that building house in the rural area is essential now. Firstly, relocating people in the rural area would gradually reduce the density of the air pollution and traffic jam. More and more people are migrating to cities for better future and hence the space available for construction are already used and in addition to this, there is even no space for tree and field for play. Lots of cars on the road make the traffic condition worse. This all can be reduced if people start moving in the peripheral places in the city. For example, if people moving into the rural area, people can have space for living, traffic condition will be better and pollution will be less. Secondly, the countryside would be developed. Now only in cities all types of facilities are available for that reason people increase rate is higher in cities. On the other hand, population in the countryside is declining. If people build their home in rural area and develop School, college, hospital, workspace there, then those places also have all the facilities people needed to live a happy life. For instance, if a doctor relocate in that place, then there will be a good opportunity to create a hospital for the countryside people. To conclude, there is no space left in cities to build a new house for living, already lots of skyscrapers in there, as a result, people need to create their houses in peripheral areas in the city, however, it should be planned properly by government.
Although the demand for housing is increasing day by day and there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to build those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should
be protected
and building accommodation in there is not acceptable. I disagree with them. In my opinion, I believe that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Firstly
, relocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
would
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the density of the air pollution and traffic jam. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for better future and
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
available for construction are already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and
in addition
to this, there is even no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for tree and field for play. Lots of cars on the road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the traffic condition worse. This all can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
moving in the peripheral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the city.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for living, traffic condition will be better and pollution will be less.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
would
be developed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
all types of facilities are available for that reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase rate is higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
On the other hand
, population in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is declining. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
build their home in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and develop School, college, hospital, workspace there, then those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
also
have all the facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy life.
For instance
, if a doctor relocate in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, then there will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to create a hospital for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to build a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for living, already lots of skyscrapers in there,
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to create their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in peripheral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in the city,
however
, it should
be planned
properly
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believeing it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion about this? v. 39

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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