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some people think healthcare should be free for everyone others think that people should pay for their medical costs themselves discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

some people think healthcare should be free for everyone others think that people should pay for their medical costs themselves v. 1
Public fitness is most crucial for boosting the economy of country through work. Therefore, some opine that healthcare facilities should free of cost, but others' views are alternative. I will enunciate both aspects along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To start with, there are multifarious reasons that why public energy should free. First and foremost is that some individuals have no any strong financial conditions that is why they are not able to pay for highly expensive treatments. Thus, in those circumstances, the ministry should pay for them which can improve their well-being, quality which further leads to do more and more work for the homey, will definitely boost the economy of the nation. Nevertheless, other responsibilities are also a major target to run the agrarian, which are faced by the regime of the region. So, considering this, legislation has to spend some amount of money other fields. Education, transportation, public facilities, as an example. These sectors would profitable for not only improve the condition of a nation, but also may fruitful to exist a country in competitive row in the world. Better transport system, tourist attractive places as well as can give the unique identification to the country. Hence, the state should invest money in these sectors. In my opinion, union should pay only to impoverished not for all. This might work as a voluntary struggle for those people who are under the poverty stricken line. Ministry ought to organise some health care programs which will help them to stay fit and fiddle. In conclusion, although it is good for poor people to attain helping hands from authorities yet they have other duties which can only be done with the help of lawmakers' economy. So, government should give free health services for those people who cannot pay for it.
Public fitness is most crucial for boosting the economy of country through work.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that healthcare facilities should free of cost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others' views are alternative. I will enunciate both aspects along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are multifarious reasons that why public energy should free.
First
and foremost is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals have
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any strong financial conditions
that is
why they are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
highly
expensive treatments.
Thus
, in those circumstances, the ministry should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for them which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their well-being, quality which
further
leads to do more and more work for the homey, will definitely boost the economy of the nation.

Nevertheless
, other responsibilities are
also
a major target to run the agrarian, which
are faced
by the regime of the region.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, considering this, legislation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money other fields. Education, transportation, public facilities, as an example. These sectors would profitable for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the condition of a nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
may fruitful to exist a country in competitive row in the world. Better transport system, tourist attractive places
as well
as can give the unique identification to the country.
Hence
, the state should invest money in these sectors.

In my opinion, union should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to impoverished not for all. This might work as a voluntary struggle for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are under the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
line. Ministry ought to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health care programs which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to stay fit and fiddle.

In conclusion
, although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to attain helping hands from authorities
yet
they have other duties which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be done
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of lawmakers' economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give free health services for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay some people think healthcare should be free for everyone others think that people should pay for their medical costs themselves v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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