Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6
Recently, a few countries have been broadcasting criminal proceedings on television. While there are certain benefits to such act, in my opinion, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages greatly. Admittedly, there are certain advantages to telecasting of trials. To begin with, it highlights the transparency of the judicial system. In other words, as the criminal trials and legal procedures are televised step by step, to be overseen by the people, it has raised the bar publicly in terms of legal system awareness and trust. Furthermore, by televising, the government implies that every action bears a consequence. Thus, this in turn can deter some people, in particular juveniles, that contemplate a criminal act. Nonetheless, broadcasting trials bear serious negative consequences. Firstly, the public and media, due to a lack of legal understanding, can impose bias and influence the outcome of the trial. Hence, justice may not be served. Secondly, mass media coverage of an offender’s trial, unintentionally, can easily turn a criminal into a TV star! For instance, Ted Bundy was an American serial killer in late 1900’s, and his trials were amongst the first to be televised. However, in spite of his horrendous acts, he was then quite popular among young girls. Moreover, till date there are books and movies being written and directed respectively, based on his life; increasing deceased culprit’s popularity. Thus, overall, this has been an unfavourable effect on the society. Thirdly, the judge is the one supposed to pass the verdict, yet by televising the proceedings, the entire public removes the effectiveness of a jury system. Finally, these broadcasts can psychologically traumatise certain individuals, such as children, particularly if one of their immediate family members is being prosecuted. In conclusion, I believe despite the few advantages, airing of criminal trials will have a detrimental effect on the society, in the long run. As, it could result in injustice and undesirable outcomes.
Recently, a few countries have been broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
proceedings on television. While there are certain benefits to such act, in my opinion, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages
greatly
.

Admittedly
, there are certain advantages to telecasting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it highlights the transparency of the judicial system.
In other words
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
and legal procedures
are televised
step by step, to be overseen by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it has raised the bar
publicly
in terms of legal system awareness and trust.
Furthermore
, by televising, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
implies that every action bears a consequence.
Thus
, this in turn can deter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
in particular
juveniles, that contemplate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
act.

Nonetheless, broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
bear serious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
Firstly
, the public and media, due to a lack of legal understanding, can impose bias and influence the outcome of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trial
.
Hence
, justice may not
be served
.
Secondly
, mass media coverage of an offender’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trial
,
unintentionally
, can
easily
turn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
into a TV star!
For instance
, Ted Bundy was an American serial killer in late
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1900s".
1900’s
, and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
were amongst the
first
to
be televised
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
his horrendous acts, he was then quite popular
Do not mix variants of the same word ('among' and 'amongst') within a single text.
among
young girls.
Moreover
, till date there are books and movies
being written
and directed
respectively
, based on his life; increasing deceased culprit’s popularity.
Thus
,
overall
, this has been an
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
effect on the society.
Thirdly
, the judge is the one supposed to pass the verdict,
yet
by televising the proceedings, the entire public removes the effectiveness of a jury system.
Finally
, these broadcasts can
psychologically
Possible spelling mistake. 'traumatise' is British English.
traumatise
certain individuals, such as children,
particularly
if one of their immediate family members is
being prosecuted
.

In conclusion
, I believe despite the few advantages, airing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
will have a detrimental effect on the society, in the long run. As, it could result in injustice and undesirable outcomes.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts