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Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e. g: environment, cost). Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e. g: environment, cost). v. 2
Government should release the budget based on the priority and doing analysis on previous budgets. Certain demographics of the society thinks that government should spends budget on faster means of transport. While other argues that the more budget should on basics amenities like food, shelter, education. I personally believe that budget should be spend based on the priority of the people. In this essay will discuss about both views. Firstly, Government should concentrate on increasing the budget and plan the budget in an efficient manner. Most common modes of transport are roadways, railways, airways however these days people are using metros and airways to reach their destination quickly and safely. For a development countries there must be some proportional budget should be spent on the transport. For Instances, countries like japan, chain using bullet trains and making the travel comfort and reach their destinations quickly. In order travel longer distances people prefer airways and railways and reach their distances in less time and also occurrence of accidents decreases. On the other hand, people in the society needs basic requirements like shelter, food, medical facilities, education in higher priority. Once the basic amenities got fulfilled government can certainly think of advanced requirements. For Instance, countries like Pakistan still under poverty line and not able to fulfill their basic accommodations. In order to build a healthy society everyone in the country must get basic accommodations. To recapitulate, in my opinion although the argument, spending more budget on faster means of transport seems to be plausible, under scrutiny it is quite clear that the premises are false. In the light of above arguments, it is apparently that government should give priority on basic needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should release the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
priority
and doing analysis on previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
. Certain demographics of the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on faster means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. While other argues that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
should on basics amenities like food, shelter, education. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
should be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
priority
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
views.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should concentrate on increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
and plan the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
Consider replacing "in an efficient manner" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient manner
. Most common modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
are roadways, railways, airways
however
these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using metros and airways to reach their destination
quickly
and
safely
. For a development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
should
be spent
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. For Instances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like japan, chain using bullet trains and making the travel comfort and reach their destinations
quickly
. In order travel longer distances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer airways and railways and reach their distances in less time and
also
occurrence of accidents decreases.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
requirements like shelter, food, medical facilities, education in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
priority
.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
amenities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fulfilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of advanced requirements.
For Instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Pakistan
still
under poverty line and not able to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
accommodations. In order to build a healthy society everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
accommodations.

To recapitulate, in my opinion although the argument, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on faster means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
seems to be plausible, under scrutiny it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the premises are false. In the light of above arguments, it is
apparently
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
priority
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e. g: environment, cost). v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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