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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.24

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. v. 24
These days, many businesses prefer to sponsor sports to Increase their sales turnover. However, people are divided on their opinion. Some consider that sports can bring plethora of benefits for companies as well as sports committees. While others believe that it can damage sports spirit. In my opinion, it’s advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the latter cannot be underestimated. This essay explores both views and extract a conclusion at the end. To start with, sports sponsorship Has endless advantages to both, companies and sports committees. Firstly, companies can promote their products and services in front of numerous people. For an example, the famous beverage company named “Coca Cola” sponsored the last Olympics. In return, they expanded their sales to three fourth of global population in just two years. Secondly, sports committees or councils rewarded the players with valuable prizes and develop the sports. All of this is done by the sponsored money. Therefore, it is evident that sponsoring the sports help both parties. On the other hand, opponents regard this harmful for the spirit of sports. They believe sports and money should be kept apart from each other. In other words, when players are keen on money than sports, they damage the quality of the game. In the result, scandals such as match fixing become common. Moreover, players start using performance enhancing drugs to fulfill sponsor’s demands. For instance, two Australian cricketers were banned for lifetime because they were using drugs. Furthermore, sponsoring provide gate through to undesired companies. To illustrate, cigarette brands are prohibited from advertising in sports, but commonly alcohol beverage brands are found sponsoring “Rugby” matches. Hence these problems cannot be ignored. In conclusion, this essay discussed merits and demerits of sponsoring the sports. It is useful for companies and sport councils in number of ways. Despite of the benefits, there are a lot of negative aspects. Such as, harm to the sports spirit as well as individuals. Sports authorities and government need to implement rules and regulations to overcome these drawbacks. So that maximum of sponsored is positively spent for the sake of sports development.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businesses prefer to sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to Increase their sales turnover.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are divided
on their opinion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can bring plethora of benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
committees.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others believe that it can damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
spirit. In my opinion, it’s advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
However
, the latter cannot
be underestimated
. This essay explores both views and extract a conclusion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sponsorship Has endless advantages to both,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
committees.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can promote their products and services in front of numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. For an example, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
beverage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
named “Coca Cola” sponsored the last Olympics. In return, they expanded their sales to three fourth of global population in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two years.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
committees or councils rewarded the players with valuable prizes and develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. All of this
is done
by the sponsored money.
Therefore
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
both parties.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, opponents regard this harmful for the spirit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and money should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
apart from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when players are keen on money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they damage the quality of the game. In the result, scandals such as match fixing become common.
Moreover
, players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using performance enhancing drugs to fulfill sponsor’s demands.
For instance
, two Australian cricketers
were banned
for lifetime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were using drugs.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
provide gate through to undesired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. To illustrate, cigarette brands
are prohibited
from advertising in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
commonly
alcohol beverage brands
are found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
“Rugby” matches.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
these problems cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed merits and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. It is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
councils in number of ways.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the benefits, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. Such as, harm to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
spirit
as well
as individuals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
authorities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations to overcome these drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that maximum of sponsored is
positively
spent for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
development.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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