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Over the last few decades there has been an increase in international tourism Some people thinks it is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Over the last few decades there has been an increase in international tourism Some people thinks it is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged v. 2
In this age, touring around the world has become immensely popular. Some people consider it favorable for both the locals and the economy of country. In my opinion, I totally agree to this statement. This essay will explore the advantages of global tourism in detail. The fruitful outcomes of touring around the world are numerous to count. Firstly, the local residents and businesses get benefited most. Such as, it is clear that when tourists visit a worthy place, they like to spend money on accommodation, food, shopping and transport. For instance, Chinese people while touring, spend mostly on food and buying brands. Moreover, most travelers speak English language and to communicate, the locals learn and speak to them. In result, this also benefit them for their entire life. Hence, foreign touring is profitable to local people. Secondly, the government generates a great revenue from touring. When visitors buy tickets, food, different goods and rooms in hotel, a bulk amount of taxes is collected by government. Moreover, if this money is used to refurbish the historical places and to build new infrastructure, it will tourists as well as locals. Furthermore, these steps will encourage and attract more tourists from other countries, generating more and more wealth. Thus, it is clear that touring plays a vital role in economy of a country. In conclusion, touring industry is profitable for locals in terms of employment opportunities and for the country as well. In my opinion, it is completely admitted and should be encouraged to increase the flow of foreign tourists. In addition, the tourism is a green industry since it is pollution free.
In this age, touring around the world has become
immensely
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider it favorable for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and the economy of country. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement. This essay will explore the advantages of global tourism in detail.

The fruitful outcomes of touring around the world are numerous to count.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents and businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefited most. Such as, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visit a worthy place, they like to spend money on accommodation, food, shopping and transport.
For instance
, Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while touring, spend
mostly
on food and buying brands.
Moreover
, most travelers speak English language and to communicate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
learn and speak to them. In result, this
also
benefit them for their entire life.
Hence
, foreign touring is profitable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
generates a great revenue from touring. When visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
tickets, food,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and rooms in hotel, a bulk amount of taxes
is collected
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Moreover
, if this money is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to refurbish the historical places and to build new infrastructure, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
Furthermore
, these steps will encourage and attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from other countries, generating more and more wealth.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that touring plays a vital role in economy of a country.

In conclusion
, touring industry is profitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
in terms of employment opportunities and for the country
as well
. In my opinion, it is completely admitted and should
be encouraged
to increase the flow of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, the tourism is a green industry since it is pollution free.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Over the last few decades there has been an increase in international tourism Some people thinks it is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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