Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think every human being can create artworks (e. g. painting), while others think only the people born with the ability can do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion. （2015/10/31亚太） v.1

Some people think every human being can create artworks (e. g. painting), while others think only the people born with the ability can do that. （2015/10/31亚太） v. 1
Nowadays, it is widely acknowledged that art has become an indispensable part of our lives. While some people think only a very few people who born with this ability can create artworks, I still tend to believe that everyone can do it. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that there are many excellent works of art are made by creative and talented artists, like Picasso’s paintings and Shakespeare’s operas. Indeed, their born ability plays an important role in finishing such amazing works. As for ordinary people, it seems to me that is impossible to make such an achievement, regardless the degree of your endeavor. However, we don’t need to require all the artworks are so unprecedented. People who received well training still have chance to create meaningful works. In addition, what I want to rebut is that artwork just is a form that we can express our feelings and thought. If we can record our daily life in paintings, dramas and songs, it still is a kind of artworks, although may not be influential like celebrities’ works. Furthermore, there are many artworks come from general public’s day-to-day life, like many traditional customs in Asia, conventional songs in Africa and so on. Majority of them are created by local people, instead of well-known talented artists. They still are an inevitable part of human being’s cultural heritages. Thus, although we are not talented artist, it is unnecessary to belittle our potential creativity. In conclusion, we should not neglect the contribution by famous artist, due to the fact that their artworks make prolong impacts on human history. However, we still are able to create amazing artworks, because the origin of art is our daily lives.
Nowadays, it is
widely
acknowledged that art has become an indispensable part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who born with this ability can create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
, I
still
tend to believe that everyone can do it.

On the one hand, it cannot
be denied
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
excellent works of art
are made
by creative and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, like Picasso’s paintings and Shakespeare’s operas.
Indeed
, their born ability plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in finishing such amazing works. As for ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it seems to me
that is
impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such an achievement, regardless the degree of your endeavor.
However
, we don’t need to require all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unprecedented.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who received well training
still
have chance to create meaningful works.

In addition
, what I want to rebut is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
is a form that we can express our feelings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. If we can record our daily life in paintings, dramas and songs, it
still
is a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
, although may not be influential like celebrities’ works.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
Consider using "public".
general public
’s day-to-day life, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traditional customs in Asia, conventional songs in Africa and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Majority of them
are created
by local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
instead
of well-known talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. They
still
are an inevitable part of human being’s cultural heritages.
Thus
, although we are not talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, it is unnecessary to belittle our potential creativity.

In conclusion
, we should not neglect the contribution by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, due to the fact that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
prolong impacts on human history.
However
, we
still
are able to create amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the origin of art is our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think every human being can create artworks (e. g. painting), while others think only the people born with the ability can do that. （2015/10/31亚太） v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts