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Some people think controls should be made for the media such as newspaper to publish other people’s private lives, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think controls should be made for the media such as newspaper to publish other people’s private lives, while others disagree. v. 1
Journalism is a mirror of the any nation, it is a power of the common man. Some part of folks assert that media should be restricted in some places while other's argue that they have right to deliver any type of information This essay expresses both views in this articulated in trail paragraph and give an opinion with a logical conclusion. Firstly, why media not forbidden in any field of state because most of the people rely on newspapers and electronic media for getting the all Intimation Moreover If media has been control, then we can be said that it is a killed to common man fundamental rights In addition the democratic country's most of the political leaders are giving a liar promise than they goes again in this conditions media is a vital role for becoming the sound of the masses and they duress to government to complete that particular function. To cite an example; in the recent election of INDIA our prime minister gives Commitment to the nation's farmers whether our government goes into Parliament then they are forgiven debt of farmers but they can't do it then media become the sound of the public. In sharp contrast, some time media give a foolish information about particular man or woman they are misuse of their rights and in some cases, they are crossing the every line they cover lousy and noseless information for only money further more, as compared to past media has not only more corrupted but also they lose masses faith. Because in order to get more TRP they are not covered original news But published fake news, this is alarming for every citizen and they enter personal life to exemplify; If any celebrity enjoy their holiday on vacation they are clicking their photo and viral it because thing is happening with Karan. Agglomerating all the elaborated points above, it can be concluded that, media should not be controlled because it is the heart and pulse of any nation's.
Journalism is a mirror of the any nation, it is a power of the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
part of folks assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
be restricted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places while
Consider using the plural form here: "others".
other's
argue that they have right to deliver any type of information This essay expresses both views in this articulated in trail paragraph and give an opinion with a logical conclusion.

Firstly
, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
not forbidden in any field of state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rely on newspapers and electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for getting the all Intimation
Moreover
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been control, then we can
be said
that it is a killed to common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
fundamental rights
In addition
the democratic country's most of the political leaders are giving a liar promise than they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "go"
goes
again in
Did you mean "these"?
this
conditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a vital role for becoming the sound of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
masses and
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they duress
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to complete that particular function. To cite an example; in the recent election of INDIA our prime minister gives Commitment to the nation's farmers whether our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
goes into Parliament then they
are forgiven
debt of farmers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can't do it then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
become the sound of the public.

In sharp contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
give
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a foolish information
about particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or woman they are misuse of their rights and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, they are crossing the every line they cover lousy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
noseless
information for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
money
further
more, as compared to past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more corrupted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they lose masses faith.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more TRP they are not covered original news

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
published fake news, this is alarming for every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
citizen and
they enter personal life to exemplify; If any celebrity enjoy their holiday on vacation they are clicking their photo and viral it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
thing is happening with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karan
.

Agglomerating all the elaborated points above, it can
be concluded
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should not
be controlled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the heart and pulse of any
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "nations"?
nation's
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think controls should be made for the media such as newspaper to publish other people’s private lives, while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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