Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work to what extent do you agree? Instead of being put behind bars. v.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work Instead of being put behind bars. v. 5
Nowadays, There are many prisoners locked down behind the bars and left idle while taking their punishment period. However, many of them could spend their free time on the social service to atone their sin while waiting for their freedom. From my point of view, These prisoners with a light crime or a few years of jailing should be allow to service the community. Exploring the benefits and losses of applying the service task for these captives will prove this. First of all, These people could relieve their bordom with these activitys while taking the punishment. Likewise, many nations had been applied a lot of task, such as, the sewer cleaning, the pedestrian path paving, or some farming job that could be a service to public and can provided a cheap labor to help in many troublesome tasks. Even so, they need to be monitored to avoid the risk of escaping or the risk to cause any damage to surrounding. In other words, these presioners of a light crime or a few years of penalty left should be the ideal target so as to have less reason to escape. On the one hand, their service might provided a better image for many post-prisoners. As many of them were going to encountering many hardships or struggling to get a job for living in the future, for example, many American post-prisoner repeat their crime because they have a hard time to find any job. In order to solve these problems, some countries alloweded them to atone their sin with many type of community works while they are taking their punishment. Nontheless, this method was working for many celebrities but less effective on the other common captives. By this I mean, they have the right to have a chance to redeem for their crime and also have the right to improve their image for their future being. In conclusion, these guity men could be more useful with their duties instate of remaining idle behind those bars. It can be accept that they should spend their jail period on many social services with a condition of low escaping risk. As for the society benefits, this approach could be better in longterm as they could have a chance to turn over a new leaf with a better life.
Nowadays, There are
many
prisoners locked down behind the bars and
left
idle while taking their punishment period.
However
,
many
of them could spend their free time on the social
service
to atone their sin while waiting for their freedom. From my point of view, These prisoners with a light
crime
or a few years of jailing should be
allow
to
service
the community. Exploring the benefits and losses of applying the
service
task for these captives will prove this.

First of all
, These
people
could relieve their
bordom
with these
activitys
while taking the punishment.
Likewise
,
many
nations had
been applied
a lot of task
, such as, the sewer cleaning, the pedestrian path paving, or
some
farming job that could be a
service
to public and can provided a
cheap
labor to
help
in
many
troublesome tasks. Even
so
, they need to
be monitored
to avoid the
risk
of escaping or the
risk
to cause any damage to surrounding.
In other words
, these
presioners
of a light
crime
or a few years of penalty
left
should be the ideal target
so as to
have less reason to escape.

On the one hand, their
service
might provided a better image for
many
post-prisoners. As
many
of them were
going to encountering
many
hardships or struggling to
get
a job for living in the future,
for example
,
many
American post-prisoner repeat their
crime
because
they have a
hard
time to find any job. In order to solve these problems,
some
countries
alloweded
them to atone their sin with
many type
of community works while they are taking their punishment.
Nontheless
, this method was working for
many
celebrities
but
less effective on the other common captives. By this I mean, they have the right to have a chance to redeem for their
crime
and
also
have the right to
improve
their image for their future being.

In conclusion
, these
guity
men
could be more useful with their duties instate of remaining idle behind those bars. It can be
accept
that they should spend their jail period on
many
social
services
with a condition of low escaping
risk
. As for the society benefits, this approach could be better in
longterm
as they could have a chance to turn over a new leaf with a better life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work Instead of being put behind bars. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts