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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work to what extent do you agree? instead of being put behind bars. v.2

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 2
Outlaws in prison have been the centre of many debates that aims to enhance the city's safety. Dealing with the best punishment for them divided many people. It's agreed that making them do community tasks for free is the best solution. that because, making them do good deed will make them more considerate and doing so will be useful for the community. Firstly, mating a person who broke the law do charity work in the society will push them into being more empathetic. For instance, the university of Toronto published study which stated that did something good for others without any exchange were much less likely to do something bad of illegal in the future. When helping someone. There for, it's always changing something deep in ourselves that push us to be better people. Secondly, for prisoners who do free tasks will always help the city and people by mitigating the cost of some projects of the government. For example, in the 11th century China used their own captured criminals to build the great wall of China. This action helped the Chinese people survive many attacks that could many people. Thus, this decision was very helpful for its people than take the lives of just keeping the prisoners in their cells. To summarize, for many reasons like changing the prisoners personalities for the better while also helping the societies, it's far better to go with making them do the society work instead of just keeping them in isolations. It's predicted that many countries in the future will also adopt this approach.
Outlaws in prison have been the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debates that aims to enhance the city's safety. Dealing with the best punishment for them divided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that making them do community tasks for free is the best solution.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, making them do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deed will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more considerate and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will be useful for the community.

Firstly
, mating a person who broke the law do charity work in the society will push them into being more empathetic.
For instance
, the university of Toronto published study which stated that did something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for others without any exchange were much less likely to do something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
of illegal in the future. When helping someone. There for,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
always changing something deep in ourselves that push us to be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, for prisoners who do free tasks will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by mitigating the cost of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
projects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

For example
, in the 11th century China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
captured criminals to build the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
great wall of China
. This action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
survive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attacks that could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, this decision was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
keeping the prisoners in their cells.

To summarize
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons like changing the prisoners personalities for the better while
also
helping the societies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
far better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
making them do the society work
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
keeping them in
Possible spelling mistake found.
isolations
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
predicted that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the future will
also
adopt this approach.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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