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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work to what extent do you agree? instead of being put behind bars. v.3

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 3
Outlaws in prison have been the centre of many debates that aims to enhance the city's safety. Dealing with the best punishment for them divided many people. It's agreed that making them do community tasks for free is the best solution. That because, making them do good deed will make them more considerate and doing so will be useful for the community. Firstly, mating a person who broke the law do charity work in the society will push them into being more empathetic. For instance, the university of Toronto published study which stated that did something good for others without any exchange were much less likely to do something bad of illegal in the future. When helping someone. Therefor, it's always changing something deep in ourselves that push us to be better people. Secondly, for prisoners who do free tasks will always help the city and people by mitigating the cost of some projects of the government. For example, in the 11th century China used their own captured criminals to build the great wall of China. This action helped the Chinese people survive many attacks that could many people. Thus, this decision was very helpful for its people than take the lives of just keeping the prisoners in their cells. To summarize, for many reasons like changing the prisoners personalities for the better while also helping the societies, it's far better to go with making them do the society work instead of just keeping them in isolations. It's predicted that many countries in the future will also adopt this approach.
Outlaws in prison have been the
centre
of
many
debates that aims to enhance the city's safety. Dealing with the best punishment for them divided
many
people
.
It's
agreed
that making them do community tasks for free is the best solution. That
because
, making them do
good
deed will
make
them more considerate and doing
so
will be useful for the community.

Firstly
, mating a person who broke the law do charity work in the society will push them into being more empathetic.
For instance
, the university of Toronto published study which stated that did something
good
for others without any exchange were much less likely to do something
bad
of illegal in the future. When helping someone. Therefor,
it's
always changing something deep in ourselves that push us to be better
people
.

Secondly
, for prisoners who do free tasks will always
help
the city and
people
by mitigating the cost of
some
projects of the
government
.

For example
, in the 11th century China
used
their
own
captured criminals to build the
great wall of China
. This action
helped
the Chinese
people
survive
many
attacks that could
many
people
.
Thus
, this decision was
very
helpful for its
people
than take the
lives
of
just
keeping the prisoners in their cells.

To summarize
, for
many
reasons like changing the prisoners personalities for the better while
also
helping the societies,
it's
far better to
go with
making them do the society work
instead
of
just
keeping them in
isolations
.
It's
predicted that
many
countries in the future will
also
adopt this approach.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do up and community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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