Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree? v.9

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 9
It is often thought that rather than allowing certain convicts to rot in jail, they should be assigned community work without pay. I strongly believe that some criminals should be engaged to provide free services to the society they live instead of being put behind bars. I will discuss two major reasons why I think so in subsequent paragraphs. Some convicts should be made to perform humanitarian jobs rather serve jail terms because they will be a source of free labour in the country, and money that would have been spent in providing these public services will be saved. In Britain, for example, as against locking up, convicted street touts are assigned public roads to sweep throughout the duration of their time and the British government have saved millions that could have been spent on road maintenance through this practice. As a result of this reason I feel some kinds of criminals should be punished in this manner. Another reason why I think that unpaid public service is an appropriate punishment for some criminals is that they may become changed people at the end of the service term. This is because while serving humanity, these convicts may realize what love for other people means; hence, they may be touched to continue to give this love even after their term is over. For example, a recent research carried out by the students of psychology department of the University of Lagos showed that the ability of twenty-five percent of criminals in Get Well Prison to tolerate others had increased after they had served their jail period. Therefore, unpaid social work for particular crimes should be promoted In conclusion, offenders should be made to provide free humanitarian assistance because they are a source of cheap labour and it may help them become better people.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
rather
than allowing certain convicts to rot in jail, they should
be assigned
community work without pay. I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be engaged
to provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to the society they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
instead
of
being put
behind bars. I will discuss two major reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in subsequent paragraphs.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
convicts should
be made
to perform humanitarian jobs
rather
serve jail terms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will be a source of free
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
in the country, and money that would have
been spent
in providing these public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
will
be saved
. In Britain,
for example
, as against locking up, convicted street touts
are assigned
public roads to sweep throughout the duration of their time and the British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have saved millions that could have
been spent
on road maintenance through this practice.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of this reason I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be punished
in this manner.

Another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that unpaid public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is an appropriate punishment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is that they may become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
term. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
while serving humanity, these convicts may realize what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
means
;
hence
, they may
be touched
to continue to give this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
even after their term is over.
For example
, a recent research carried out by the students of psychology department of the University of Lagos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the ability of twenty-five percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
Well Prison to tolerate others had increased after they had served their jail period.
Therefore
, unpaid social work for particular crimes should
be promoted


In conclusion
, offenders should
be made
to provide free humanitarian assistance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are a source of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts