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some people take vacation in the city. others prefer spending their vacation in countryside. which do you prefer and why? v.1

some people take vacation in the city. others prefer spending their vacation in countryside. which do you prefer and why? v. 1
Today, working for someone else or a business group is not popular, instead, people prefer to be self-employed. So this essay attempts to consider the underlying factors of this issue before pointing out several drawbacks. Time could be a prominent example in this case as it provides some authorities for a person. For instance, people who work as an employee have to comply and comport with a lot of exacting regulations such as get to work on a specific time. While self-employment has full authority to handle the time as he/she desired. Meager income would be another reason that leads to a self-employed entrepreneur. Although employees generally receive a fixed income on their contract basis, self-employed individuals can take all the share of the market for themselves and also able to increase the rate of interest. As a result, people choose to be a freelancer which has dramatic benefits in contrast with being an employee. Despite the advantages of the issue, a number of snags can be mentioned that should not be ignored. In the first place, the responsibility of working out problems, in other words, people who run their own business have to cope with problems and pressures alone, but employees are just responsible for some parts are assigned to them. That is, most of them easily become vulnerable to circumstances due to intensive work and many challenges that have to encounter. In the second place, the risk of failure may be raised from entrepreneurship. To set up a new business people mostly have to put a huge amount of money to invest which is a risky business. If the business cannot provide some possible ways to drive sales, it might lead to a tight budget and people will experience a life pattern with huge pressure. Whereas, a steady income guarantees people’s life status who work for a company. In conclusion, people’s heads towards self-employment are causing for timing function and income elasticity. However, these issues can have a profound impact on people’s decision, but the downsides of being self-employed should not be ignored. income guarantees people’s life status who work for a company.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, working for someone else or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
group is not popular,
instead
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to be self-employed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this essay attempts to consider the underlying factors of this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pointing out several drawbacks.

Time could be a prominent example
in this case
as it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
authorities for a person.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as an employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
comply and comport with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
exacting regulations such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on a specific time. While self-employment has full authority to handle the time as he/she desired. Meager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
would be another reason that leads to a self-employed entrepreneur. Although employees
generally
receive a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
on their contract basis, self-employed individuals can take all the share of the market for themselves and
also
able to increase the rate of interest.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to be a freelancer which has dramatic benefits
in contrast
with being an employee.

Despite the advantages of the issue, a number of snags can
be mentioned
that should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. In the
first
place, the responsibility of working out problems,
in other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with problems and pressures alone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
employees are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
responsible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts
are assigned
to them.
That is
, most of them
easily
become vulnerable to circumstances due to intensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encounter. In the second place, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of failure may
be raised
from entrepreneurship. To set up a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put a huge amount of money to invest which is a risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
cannot provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible ways to drive sales, it might lead to a tight budget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will experience a life pattern with huge pressure. Whereas, a steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
guarantees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life status
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
heads towards self-employment are causing for timing function and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
elasticity.
However
, these issues can have a profound impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the downsides of being self-employed should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
income
guarantees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life status
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people take vacation in the city. others prefer spending their vacation in countryside. which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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