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Some people suggest that it is better for children to be brought up by the whole family including uncle aunts and grandparents rather than just the parents Do you agree or disagree with this statement Give your opinion and examples v.1

Some people suggest that it is better for children to be brought up by the whole family including uncle aunts and grandparents rather than just the parents Give your opinion and examples v. 1
It is believed that the key to be successful in life is to work hard and to be determinate, but other viewpoints support the incomes and the appearing as the most important elements. This essay by discussing both points of view will support with explanations and examples the first viewpoint as the most determinant factors for success. The viewpoint that money and good looking are important to reach achievement, it is functional in particular cases. Several jobs have specific requirements for a work position such as the appearance. For example, positions such as receptionist or hostess as the most important elements to have success is to have a good posture and appearance. In cases of possessing a lot of money, it can help to open a business and a fast growing by contracting professionals which possess complex skills needed to solve problems. The triumph in not on a personal level, but achieved with the help of others. It is more than clear the importance of hard work and determination in order to be successful. By working hard and being determinate to move forward different skills and knowledge are gained. This skill and information are the keys to a brighter career as it will be easy to deal with all problems which require advanced information and skills to be solved. For example, according to a survey from Forbes for the 100 most successful entrepreneurs of 2019, which all came from poor families and have achieved at high levels by working for 16 hours a day. Conclusion- incomes and the good looking are important elements to be successful only in specific cases while in the other hand the hard effort and strong motivations to achieve high levels are the most important element for success.
It
is believed
that the key to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in life is to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and to be determinate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other viewpoints support the incomes and the appearing as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
. This essay by discussing both points of view will support with explanations and examples the
first
viewpoint as the most determinant factors for success.

The viewpoint that money and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to reach achievement, it is functional
in particular
cases. Several jobs have specific requirements for a work position such as the appearance.
For example
, positions such as receptionist or hostess as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
to have success is to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
posture and appearance. In cases of possessing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to open a business and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growing by contracting professionals which possess complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
needed to solve problems. The triumph in not on a personal level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
achieved with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of others.

It is more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work and determination in order to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. By working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and being determinate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and knowledge
are gained
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and information are the keys to a brighter career as it will be easy to deal with all problems which require advanced information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
be solved
.
For example
, according to a survey from Forbes for the 100 most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
entrepreneurs of 2019, which all came from poor families and have achieved at high levels by working for 16 hours a day.

Conclusion- incomes and the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in specific cases while in the other hand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
effort and strong motivations to achieve high levels are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
element
for success.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people suggest that it is better for children to be brought up by the whole family including uncle aunts and grandparents rather than just the parents Give your opinion and examples v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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