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Some people say the government should not put money into building theatres and sports stadiums they should spend more money on medical care and education To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion v.2

Some people say the government should not put money into building theatres and sports stadiums they should spend more money on medical care and education with this opinion v. 2
The government have given a large amount of grant for the development of facilities for the civil. The prevailing member of society espouse the mindset that this money should be used to create better health and education centers rather than improving the quality of entertainment buildings, such as; cinema and gymnasium. From my standpoint, i, totally, support this concept with two indispensible reasons. Firstly, the need to educate the students will rise at the same rate of the trends growth. In the future, the students should be able to compete with abroad learner. Thus, the governments are responsible to nurture their skills and provide them with adequate learning facilities. Moreover, in order to assist the ones who live under poverty, the need of education expansion to the remote area should be the imperative of our governments. therefore, we should utilize the cash to encourage the growth of our learning sistem and to stabilize our education system. Secondly, the fitness standard of our society is dropping gradually. this means we should utilize the granted money from the government to nurture our medical care system and reduce the statistics of unhealthy individuals. we can upgrade medical equipments and recruit more detroit doctors and nurses. therefore, the governments should set this factor as their priority rather than entertaining people. In conclusion, The governments should supersede their priority scale from entertainment to health and education because these factors will be crucial to the growth of the country. In my opinion, i believe that the best way to utilize the governments' cash is to maintain the quality and quantity of our critical area, such as; educating students and treating diseased individuals.
The
government
have
given
a large amount of grant for the development of facilities for the civil. The prevailing member of society espouse the mindset that this money should be
used
to create better health and
education
centers
rather
than improving the quality of entertainment buildings, such as; cinema and gymnasium. From my standpoint, i,
totally
, support this concept with two
indispensible
reasons.

Firstly
, the need to educate the students will rise at the same rate of the
trends
growth. In the future, the students should be able to compete with abroad learner.
Thus
, the
governments
are responsible to nurture their
skills
and provide them with adequate learning facilities.
Moreover
, in order to assist the ones who
live
under poverty, the need of
education
expansion to the remote area should be the imperative of our
governments
.
therefore
, we should utilize the cash to encourage the growth of our learning
sistem
and to stabilize our
education
system.

Secondly
, the fitness standard of our society is dropping
gradually
.
this
means we should utilize the granted money from the
government
to nurture our medical care system and
reduce
the statistics of unhealthy individuals.
we
can upgrade medical equipments and recruit more
detroit
doctors and nurses.
therefore
, the
governments
should set this factor as their priority
rather
than entertaining
people
.

In conclusion
, The
governments
should supersede their priority scale from entertainment to health and
education
because
these factors will be crucial to the growth of the country. In my opinion,
i
believe that the best way to utilize the
governments&
#039; cash is to maintain the quality and quantity of our critical area, such as; educating students and treating diseased individuals.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say the government should not put money into building theatres and sports stadiums they should spend more money on medical care and education with this opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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