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Some people feel that children should be educated in single sex schools rather than mixed school To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people feel that children should be educated in single sex schools rather than mixed school v. 2
Many people hold the view that attending single-sex schools is better for students of both genders. However, from my perspective, co-education offers extraordinary benefits to students and school systems, including better behavior and higher standard of academic achievement. First of all, it is clear that educating the sexes together allow students to improve their behavior in the society. The presence of girls usually leads to better demeanor among boys who would otherwise become more arrogant, crude and are more likely to have juvenile delinquency if they studied in all-male atmosphere. Teenage girls mature faster than their male counterparts and so are good influences on them. On the other hand, a female-only space can create an atmosphere of high pressure with more issues such as eating disorders and self-harming reported. It seems that the presence of boys reduces some of this pressure. Secondly, with multi-gender learning environment, students stand a golden chance of boosting their academic performance. A classroom environment is enriched by diversity and the different views that boys and girls bring, leading to a more well-rounded education. In fact, boys tend to be more creative and clever but their carelessness are non-negligible, and girls are prone to be meticulous but less inventive and sometimes receive insufficient attention in scientific fields; thus, complementation between them is apparent. In addition, living in mixed schools give them a better chance to learn more from other’s strong points and views, which may broaden their horizon in a particular subject. Some opponents of co-education may argue that mixed school is not good for students because of a number of reasons. They claim that in mixed school, girls may be less likely to be confident and to speak up in class as they do not want to appear clever in front of the boys. While this is true, it is undeniable that in every learning environment, there still be unconfident students. Others claim that the teenage pregnancy rate is increasing in co-educational schools. However, this can be avoided if schools offer more sex education classes to raise students’ awareness. From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that multi-gender learning environment brings students a range of advantages. Specifically, it can help students improve their behavior and academic performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that attending single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of both genders.
However
, from my perspective, co-education offers extraordinary benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
systems, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
behavior and higher standard of academic achievement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that educating the sexes together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their behavior in the society. The presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
usually
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
demeanor among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
who would
otherwise
become more arrogant, crude and are more likely to have juvenile delinquency if they studied in all-male atmosphere. Teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
mature faster than their male counterparts and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influences on them.
On the other hand
, a female-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
space can create an atmosphere of high pressure with more issues such as eating disorders and self-harming reported. It seems that the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of this pressure.

Secondly
, with multi-gender learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
stand a golden chance of boosting their academic performance. A classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is enriched
by diversity and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
bring, leading to a more well-rounded education. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
tend to be more creative and clever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their carelessness are non-negligible, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are prone to be meticulous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
less inventive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
receive insufficient attention in scientific fields;
thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
complementation
between them is apparent.
In addition
, living in mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
give them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to learn more from other’s strong points and views, which may broaden their horizon in a particular subject.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
opponents of co-education may argue that mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a number of reasons. They claim that in mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
may be less likely to be confident and to speak up in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
as they do not want to appear clever in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. While this is true, it is undeniable that in every learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, there
still
be unconfident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Others claim that the teenage pregnancy rate is increasing in co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
However
, this can
be avoided
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer more sex education classes to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
awareness.

From what has
been discussed
above, we may draw the conclusion that multi-gender learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a range of advantages.
Specifically
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their behavior and academic performance.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that children should be educated in single sex schools rather than mixed school v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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