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Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The chart gives information about marriage and children in a selection of countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spe v.2

Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The chart gives information about marriage and children in a selection of countries.
An increasing number of individuals believe that animals should not be used by common people and they should have the equal rights as human beings; however, counters claim that mankind must utilise animals for their different demands, including utilisation of food and scientific experiment. The argument consists of dual opinion and pros cons respectively. Prior to my opinion, both the views are analysed. Discussing the former viewpoint, the most crucial one is that men do not have any right to kill the animals. As, Animal is a wonderful creature of God and only almighty has the power to take the life of any living things. In addition to this, killing the animals for food is inadequate. Because it has proven that human beings can get all the nutrients and vitamins from green vegetables and fruits. Moreover, a substantial amount of animal research is done for cosmetics, not to find cures for diseases, so this is unnecessary. Analysing the latter perspective, the foremost one is that, animals can be used for the medical research. For example, the medicine for the dangerous cure like cancer was founded after the successfully experimented on the animals. Additionally, scientists try to find the difficulty the animals experienced. To justify, some animal species are endangered because the climate changes. So scientists try to do various experiments to save the animals. Last but not the least, some individuals consider that animal is below the humans in the food chain so, mankind has all the rights to use them to their advantage. To cap it all and offer my position, I agree with the fore more viewpoint. A growing number of people experience that animals should not be used by humans; where as, specific people claim that mankind must use the animal for their purposes. Although animals can be used for the medical research; however, humans do not have any rights to take their life's.
An increasing number of individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by common
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they should have the equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings;
however
, counters claim that mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
demands, including
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of food and scientific experiment. The argument consists of dual opinion and pros cons
respectively
. Prior to my opinion, both the views are
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
.

Discussing the former viewpoint, the most crucial one is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. As,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animal
is a wonderful creature of God and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
almighty has the power to take the life of any living things.
In addition
to this, killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for food is inadequate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it has proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the nutrients and vitamins from green vegetables and fruits.
Moreover
, a substantial amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
research
is done
for cosmetics, not to find cures for diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is unnecessary.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the latter perspective, the foremost one is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the medical research.
For example
, the medicine for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
cure like cancer
was founded
after the
successfully
experimented on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Additionally
, scientists try to find the difficulty the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
experienced. To justify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species
are endangered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
scientists try to do various experiments to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is below the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the food chain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, mankind has all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to their advantage.

To cap it all and offer my position, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the fore more viewpoint. A growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
experience that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
;
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
, specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
for their purposes. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the medical research;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to take their life's.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The chart gives information about marriage and children in a selection of countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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