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Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished while others believe they should be educated To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement Give your own opinion v.2

Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished while others believe they should be educated with this statement Give your own opinion v. 2
Across the globe, there has been an increased number of crimes committed by minors. A group of people feel that the children who commit crimes must be put before the law while some people opine that they should be given proper education to prevent the same crime again. Indeed, to my mind, there is now convincing evidence that children who involve in anti-social activities must be rewarded both with prison sentences and education. In this essay, I shall examine to what extent prison and education help the society as well as the respective children. Firstly, the punishments in the form of prison to young people who offend promotes the social security to a great extent. This is because, in a society, awarding an imprisonment to offenders minimizes the fear of safety and security to citizens, as most young minds would not commit crimes by knowing the consequences later. For example, in the People’s Republic of China, since the legislation allows juveniles to be punished even with a death sentence by considering the nature of the crime, the crime rate of minors is considerably less. Therefore, for a safer environment, it is inevitable to punish the juveniles for the crimes. Secondly, providing education to juvenile offenders than punishing discourages them to repeat the crimes again. This can be seen from the fact that, if the minors who do not have the requisite knowledge and maturity to act as per the law are educated with moral lessons and ethics to lead a better life in the society, they can be refined in a right path in their lives. For example, in India, legislation put young criminals in a reformatory cell which teaches lessons to obey the laws and positive thinking abilities, and this substantially reduces the criminal activities by juveniles in India according to a recent statistics produced by Indian Crime Investigation Bureau. Therefore, young minds are provided with proper guidance to avoid committing the crimes the second time. In conclusion, there are undeniable evidences that both imprisonment and education aid for the safer society to live in. Given the strength of these evidences, in the future, more legislation needs to be put in place to limit child offenders.
Across the globe, there has been an increased number of
crimes
committed by minors. A group of
people
feel that the children
who
commit
crimes
must
be put
before
the law while
some
people
opine that they should be
given
proper
education
to
prevent
the same
crime
again.
Indeed
, to my mind, there is
now
convincing evidence that children
who
involve in anti-social activities
must
be rewarded
both with prison sentences and
education
. In this essay, I shall examine to what extent prison and
education
help
the
society
as well
as the respective children.

Firstly
, the punishments in the form of prison to
young
people
who
offend promotes the social security to a great extent. This is
because
, in a
society
, awarding an imprisonment to offenders minimizes the fear of safety and security to citizens, as most
young
minds would not commit
crimes
by knowing the consequences later.
For example
, in the
People’s
Republic of China, since the legislation
allows
juveniles
to
be punished
even with a death sentence by considering the nature of the
crime
, the
crime
rate of minors is
considerably
less.
Therefore
, for a safer environment, it is inevitable to punish the
juveniles
for the crimes.

Secondly
, providing
education
to
juvenile
offenders than punishing discourages them to repeat the
crimes
again. This can be
seen
from the fact that, if the minors
who
do not have the requisite knowledge and maturity to act as per the law
are educated
with moral lessons and ethics to lead a better life in the
society
, they can
be refined
in a right path in their
lives
.
For example
, in India, legislation put
young
criminals in a reformatory cell which teaches lessons to obey the laws and
positive
thinking abilities, and this
substantially
reduces
the criminal activities by
juveniles
in India according to a recent statistics produced by Indian
Crime
Investigation Bureau.
Therefore
,
young
minds
are provided
with proper guidance to avoid committing the
crimes
the second time.

In conclusion
, there are undeniable evidences that both imprisonment and
education
aid for the safer
society
to
live
in.
Given
the strength of these evidences, in the future, more legislation needs to
be put
in place to limit child offenders.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished while others believe they should be educated with this statement Give your own opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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