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Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. with this statement? Give your own opinion. v. 1
There is often a dichotomy in opinion, on whether the juvenile crime should be sentenced to punishable or putting them at rehabilitation centre is the best possible solution. I strongly believe that underage criminals should be made aware about their actions rather than being punished straightaway. To begin with, if youngster found guilty of any crime, they should be sent to a rehab centre. To put in another way, they should be taught that what would be the consequences of committing the crime and how much it cost the victim? To illustrate this, the boy of age 16 has been forgiven by the mother of the victim, who has killed his own best friend during the football game. Although, it was hard for the mother to forgive that crime, the purpose for doing so is to understand the criminal that killing is not the answer in the real world. This act of kindness helped him to control the rage and anger. Furthermore, penalizing the young criminals will have the detrimental impact on the country. In other word, the young generations are considered to be the valuable assets of the nation. If the judicial system forgive them and sent him to the rehabilitation centre, they might evolve as good citizens of the country which eventually helped the society to prosper. For instance, the scientist in the United States of America has found the cured of the brain cancer which is the common disease nowadays, but he was once arrested in the burglary case when he was only fourteen years of age. Instead, of sentencing him ten years of imprisonment, the jury decided to send him to the government school to start his education and provide him the food on a daily basis. He emerged as a scientist and eventually brought the fame to the country. To conclude this, penalizing the underage adolescent is a way easy job for the jury or judicial system, but in my opinion the talent of the nation can only be found through the younger generations. Polishing and teaching them personal skills may help the country to bring the new innovations.
There is
often
a dichotomy in opinion, on whether the juvenile
crime
should
be sentenced
to punishable or putting them at rehabilitation
centre
is the best possible solution. I
strongly
believe that underage criminals should
be made
aware about their actions
rather
than
being punished
straightaway.

To
begin
with, if youngster found guilty of any
crime
, they should be
sent
to a rehab
centre
. To put in another way, they should
be taught
that what would be the consequences of committing the
crime
and how much it cost the victim?
To
illustrate this, the boy of age 16 has
been forgiven
by the mother of the victim, who has killed his
own
best friend during the football game. Although, it was
hard
for the mother to forgive that
crime
, the purpose for doing
so
is to understand the criminal that killing is not the answer in the real world. This act of kindness
helped
him to control the rage and anger.

Furthermore
, penalizing the young criminals will have the detrimental impact on the country. In other word, the young generations
are considered
to be the valuable assets of the nation. If the judicial system forgive them and
sent
him to the rehabilitation
centre
, they might evolve as
good
citizens of the country which
eventually
helped
the society to prosper.
For instance
, the scientist in the United States of America has found the cured of the brain cancer which is the common disease nowadays,
but
he was once arrested in the burglary case when he was
only
fourteen years of age.
Instead
, of sentencing him ten years of imprisonment, the jury decided to
send
him to the
government
school to
start
his education and provide him the food on a daily basis. He emerged as a scientist and
eventually
brought the fame to the country.

To conclude
this, penalizing the underage adolescent is a way easy job for the jury or judicial system,
but
in my opinion the talent of the nation can
only
be found
through the younger generations. Polishing and teaching them personal
skills
may
help
the country to bring the new innovations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. with this statement? Give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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