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Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes Others blame for man s fault Which point of view do you agree v.2

Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes Others blame for man s fault Which point of view do you agree v. 2
Nowadays, traffic accidents are one of the most challenging problems in many parts of the world. It is often claimed that the main cause of this issue is the sharp increase in the number of vehicles especially motorbikes. Nevertheless, I wholeheartedly believe that people’s fault plays an integral part in the significant rise in traffic accidents. First and foremost, it is undeniable that the incremental accidents that caused death are because of negative behaviors of many drivers who are unconscious of following traffic rules and do some in-disciplined act before or when they drive. For instance, some people have drunk alcohol at an unaccepted volume. In addition, over speeding is also one of the main causes of this serious problem. A sharp increase in speed multiplies the risk of accidents and severe injury during traffic accidents. As a consequence, it is obviously proved that there is a drastic rise in the number of traffic accidents. Furthermore, everyone agree that it is the responsibility of the government authorities to advance the transport systems which have been alarmingly damaged somewhere. Unsafe road environment refer to external factors uncontrollable by the drivers such as visibility impairment by darkness, slippery surface, insufficient safety facilities, inadequately repaired vehicles, pedestrians or other vehicles that suddenly get in the way. Therefore, a high number of fatal accidents have been due to the terrible conditions of the facilities. To sum up, I strongly believe that not only is it essential for everyone to gain understanding about traffic accidents to deal with some unavoidable hardships but it is also crucial to the government to make a progress to enhance the transport system.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are one of the most challenging problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that the main cause of this issue is the sharp increase in the number of vehicles
especially
motorbikes.
Nevertheless
, I
wholeheartedly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s fault plays an integral part in the significant rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

First
and foremost, it is undeniable that the incremental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that caused death are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behaviors of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drivers who are unconscious of following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
in-disciplined act
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
or when they drive.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have drunk alcohol at an unaccepted volume.
In addition
, over speeding is
also
one of the main causes of this serious problem. A sharp increase in speed multiplies the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and severe injury during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. As a consequence, it is
obviously
proved that there is a drastic rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

Furthermore
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "agrees", "agreed".
agree
that it is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities to advance the transport systems which have been
alarmingly
damaged somewhere. Unsafe road environment refer to external factors uncontrollable by the drivers such as visibility impairment by darkness, slippery surface, insufficient safety facilities,
inadequately
repaired vehicles, pedestrians or other vehicles that
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the way.
Therefore
, a high number of fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
have been due to the terrible conditions of the facilities.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is it essential for everyone to gain understanding about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unavoidable hardships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
crucial to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a progress to enhance the transport system.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes Others blame for man s fault Which point of view do you agree v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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