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International tourism is now the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it brings rather tension than understanding between the people from cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

International tourism is now the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it brings rather tension than understanding between the people from cultures. with this opinion? v. 2
Currently, with the globalised world and the general decrease in traveling cost, international tourism is becoming more and more prevalent. Some people argue that the continuous and steady growth of transnational traveling inevitably leads to tension and conflicts at times that are difficult to resolve. I partly agree with this view. To begin with, it is clearly seen that global traveling creates pressure between people from distinct distances. First and foremost, among the forces contributing to the tension behind these cross – cultural encounters, those of languages barriers are perhaps the most prominent. For example, that international travelers do not have good command of the language spoken in destinations may have trouble on understanding or expressing their feelings or ideas. Communication with foreigners has always been difficult and can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts even with the help of a tour guide or interpreter. Furthermore, differences in customs and traditions may also produce quite a lot of unpleasantness during a journey. Travelers can find it very hard to adapt to the customs or cultures of the countries they visit or can have some behaviors which are not suitable with the locals, which can impact or even bother the residents. Nevertheless, the effects from transnational tourism are not all negatives. They can educate the local people about the life in another part of the world. These international travelers are like the ambassadors for their countries. Both tourists’ and locals’ perspectives of cultural distinctiveness from all over the world can be significantly broadened. It is fair to say that the development can open up more opportunities for people from all over the world to establish relationships with local inhabitants. In conclusion, I strongly believe that much as cross-border travel can cause tension, its influences are also the good ones.
Currently
, with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and the general decrease in traveling cost, international tourism is becoming more and more prevalent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the continuous and steady growth of transnational traveling
inevitably
leads to tension and conflicts at times that are difficult to resolve. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that global traveling creates pressure between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from distinct distances.
First
and foremost, among the forces contributing to the tension behind these cross
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
cultural encounters, those of languages barriers are perhaps the most prominent.
For example
, that international travelers do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
command of the language spoken in destinations may have trouble on understanding or expressing their feelings or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Communication with foreigners has always been difficult and can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts even with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a tour guide or interpreter.
Furthermore
, differences in customs and traditions may
also
produce quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
unpleasantness during a journey. Travelers can find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adapt to the customs or cultures of the countries they visit or can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
behaviors which are not suitable with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
, which can impact or even bother the residents.

Nevertheless
, the effects from transnational tourism are not all negatives. They can educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the life in another part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. These international travelers are like the ambassadors for their countries. Both tourists’ and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals’
perspectives of cultural distinctiveness from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can be
significantly
broadened. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say that the development can open up more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to establish relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that much as cross-border travel can cause tension, its influences are
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ones.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay International tourism is now the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it brings rather tension than understanding between the people from cultures. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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