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In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. v. 1
In this day and age, there are two contradictory viewpoints in the public whether physical fitness or mental strength is the decisive factor that leads to success in sports. While it is believed by some people that those with outstanding physique will eventually win those without, others claim more importance for mental strength in the success. From my personal perspective, both physical and mental power are equally vital and support each other. On the one hand, it stands to an argue that as sports requires not only intensive training but also comparable physical strength in real matches or games if they want to beat their competitors. Indeed, physical resilience which is a crucial factor of physical power play an essential role in maintaining high performance for people doing sports and athletes. Besides the abundance of strength at the beginning of the game or a tournament, the proper distribution of energy during games is also necessary. Therefore, the strength of an athlete must be bountiful for use in the whole progress/duration of the competition to enhance the chance of success. Take Ronaldo, a famous football player as an example, he always gives prominence to physique and as a result he can keep high stamina during a 10-month tournament and rarely has severe injuries. On the other hand, mental power plays an equal part in a sports player’s success because it helps him to overcome fears, pressure, etc. . And this supports them to concentrate and keep productive in a long period. For instance, if Messi kept feeling nervous about his height because of rickets he would never have become one of the most legendary soccer player of all time. In contrast, if an athlete is mentally weak, when confronting nerf-racking competitions with those who are better than him, the athlete might end up quitting. To conclude, physical and mental power have the same importance in contributing to a player’s success. Hence, it can be concluded that without one, the other would be insufficient for an athlete to be successful.
In this day and age, there are two contradictory viewpoints in the public whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is the decisive factor that leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. While it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that those with outstanding physique will
eventually
win those without, others claim more importance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. From my personal perspective, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
are
equally
vital and support each other.

On the one hand, it stands to
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'argue' is correct. If 'argue' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an argue
that as
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sports
requires not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
intensive training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
comparable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
in real matches or games if they want to beat their competitors.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
resilience which is a crucial factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
play an essential role in maintaining high performance for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing
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sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
.
Besides
the abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
at the beginning of the game or a tournament, the proper distribution of energy during games is
also
necessary.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be bountiful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the whole progress/duration of the competition to enhance the chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Take Ronaldo, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
as an example, he always gives prominence to physique and
as a result
he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
high stamina during a 10-month tournament and rarely has severe injuries.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
plays an equal part in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to overcome fears, pressure, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
And this supports them to concentrate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
productive in a long period.
For instance
, if Messi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
feeling nervous about his height
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of rickets he would never have become one of the most legendary soccer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
of all time.
In contrast
, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
is mentally weak, when confronting
Possible spelling mistake found.
nerf-racking
competitions with those who are better than him, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up quitting.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
have the same importance in contributing to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Hence
, it can
be concluded
that without one, the other would be insufficient for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
to be successful.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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