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In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important v. 2
It is argued that whether mental toughness or physical strength is the key factor to achieving excellence in sports. While I agree that athletes should build a strong body to enhance their endurance in every important tournament, I believe that a persistent mindset also plays an indispensable role in deciding who is the ultimate winner. On the one hand, it can’t be denied that sportsmen who possess torso strength gain the upper hand on the whole. Take a competition like wrestling, for example, only those who are in top physical conditions may withstand risky moves such as body slams, limb twisting and punches. Furthermore, frame prowess achieved through intense training activities also boost the amount of stamina needed to maintain stability in a long period of time. That is to say, in a long lasting game such as football match, it is required that players constantly run on the field to dodge their opponents and score goals for their team. Such physical demanding sport does not suit those who suffer from health issues or just simply don’t occur a good body fitness. On the other hand, many consider willpower as the defining factor in combating great pressure of sports competitions. Many an Olympic games witnessed its near winners collapsed miserably before reaching the peak of their glory, which can only be explained by the lack of psychological factors when it comes to dealing with intense situations of the game itself or the loud noises from fans and supporters of the opposite teams. In fact, even world class athletes experienced tough times throughout their career, only by staying well composed may these top performers handle difficult tasks and gain their victory. To sum up, although well-built figures could serve as an advantageous aspect for sportsmen in big games, we can’t overlook another influential factor which is of equivalent importance, that is mental prowess.
It
is argued
that whether mental toughness or physical strength is the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to achieving excellence in sports. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that athletes should build a strong body to enhance their endurance in every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tournament, I believe that a persistent mindset
also
plays an indispensable role in deciding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is the ultimate winner.

On the one hand, it can’t
be denied
that sportsmen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
possess torso strength gain the upper hand
on the whole
. Take a competition like wrestling,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in top physical conditions may withstand risky
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
such as body slams, limb twisting and punches.
Furthermore
, frame prowess achieved through intense training activities
also
boost the amount of stamina needed to maintain stability in a long period of time.
That is
to say, in a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
game such as football match, it
is required
that players
constantly
run on the field to dodge their opponents and score goals for their team. Such physical demanding sport does not suit those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer from health issues or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
don’t occur a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
body fitness.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consider willpower as the defining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in combating great pressure of sports competitions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
an Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
witnessed its near winners collapsed
miserably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching the peak of their glory, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the lack of psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to dealing with intense situations of the game itself or the loud noises from fans and supporters of the opposite teams. In fact, even world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
athletes experienced tough times throughout their career,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by staying well composed may these top performers handle difficult tasks and gain their victory.

To sum up, although well-built figures could serve as an advantageous aspect for sportsmen in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, we can’t overlook another influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
which is of equivalent importance,
that is
mental prowess.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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