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Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.34

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 34
Tourism, studies and work opportunities have attracted a huge portion of foreigners coming to a country. As a result, being capable of speaking more than just your mother tongue is more important than ever. The purpose of being multilingual is diverse, too. Some would argue that it is only for international journeying and oversea working, while others believe that there are more than two reasons mentioned above. In this essay, I would examine the objectives of studying languages. First of all, plenty of people are studying so as to travel or work in foreign countries. Due to the development of industry and technology, highly educated employees are now welcomed all over the world. Big companies, such as Apple, Google, Facebook, etc. , want to recruit the best people no matter where they come from. Consequently, there exists a tendency to work abroad to get better offers and job opportunities. Understanding what colleagues say is crucial for getting along with that career. Next, tourism is growing rapidly. Therefore, oversea travelling is a new trend. In order to express what you want while travelling abroad, you should be able to speak their word. Those are the main two reasons why a person studies a new language. On the other hand, those are not the only reasons. From my perspective, the purposes can be for studying, and even for entertaining. I am planning on having postgraduate studying in a famous university in France, then I ought to understand French to comprehend what French professors say. If I am doing a research, and there are not many articles relating to my problems in my mother tongue, I will have to search for the information in English as it is the language of science. In addition, my sister is fond of Korean culture, so she studies Korean just for entertaining. A lot of people share the same purpose as my sister does, only to entertain themselves. Those are the reasons for studying a foreign language other than journeys and careers. To summarize, people being multilingual are not only for travelling and working abroad, but also for studying and other personal reasons. Languages are the key to better understanding of humanity.
Tourism, studies and work opportunities have attracted a huge portion of foreigners coming to a country.
As a result
, being capable of speaking more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
your mother tongue is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than ever. The purpose of being multilingual is diverse, too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for international journeying and oversea working, while others believe that there are more than two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
mentioned above. In this essay, I would examine the objectives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
languages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
travel or work in foreign countries. Due to the development of industry and technology,
highly
educated employees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
welcomed all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as Apple, Google, Facebook, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
want to recruit the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no matter where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from.
Consequently
, there exists a tendency to work abroad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better offers and job opportunities. Understanding what colleagues say is crucial for getting along with that career.
Next
, tourism is growing
rapidly
.
Therefore
, oversea travelling is a new trend. In order to express what you want while travelling abroad, you should be able to speak their word. Those are the main two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why a person studies a new language.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, those are not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. From my perspective, the purposes can be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, and even for entertaining. I am planning on having postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
university in France, then I ought to understand French to comprehend what French professors say. If I am doing a research, and there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
articles relating to my problems in my mother tongue, I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
search for the information in English as it is the language of science.
In addition
, my sister is fond of Korean culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she studies Korean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for entertaining.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share the same purpose as my sister does,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to entertain themselves. Those are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
a foreign language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than journeys and careers.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being multilingual are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for travelling and working abroad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. Languages are the key to better understanding of humanity.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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