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Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Other think access to so much information creates problems. Which do you agree with? v.7

Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Other think access to so much information creates problems. Which do you agree with? v. 7
Although some people believe that access to so much information creates problems, but it seems to me the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. In fact, the internet is the source of various information which everybody can access those based on their needs. To begin with, the crucial importance of the internet in personal human' s life is not deniable. People use the internet for their routine daily work such as shopping, locating an unknown address, finding job' s positions, ticket reservations and so on. For example, several months ago I found the research position through the internet in another country; so, it was really stressful for me to go another country, it was my first experience and I did not know anything about the country that I had to go. That time the internet helped me and I got the comprehensive information about that country. I got the essential addresses like the location of the university, the dormitories around the campus and the rental fees that they had; also, I found the location of historical buildings and places in the country and even I searched the various prices of the plane and train tickets, depends on the first class services or the ordinary ones, for traveling one place to another one. By means of the internet and based on the information I got through it, I traveled with more confident, easier and with more relaxation. Also, I could save a lot of money by utilizing the information that I had. Also, in field of people' s career, the internet is the key element. Today, we are dealing with the informatics world. People can search every kind of information through the internet. At a moment, the news get transmitted in the whole of the world. When the explosion happens in the other side of the world, you can find the same information about the event that the audience have. In the scientific fields the importance of the internet is completely obvious. For example, I am studying chemistry. Every day scientists discover new achievements and post them on the scientific websites. Without them the enormous part of the up-to-date data and articles loss. One day because of existed sanctions that my country counterparts, the scientific websites got blocked; so, the motivation for finding new ideas faced with problem and practically we lost the huge part of the current scientific ideas which by them we could guide to give novel ideas in the field that I was studying. As it is clear, without the internet the human' s career and social life got paralyzed. To put the issues into a nutshell, the internet provides people valuable information which ignoring it as an inevitable fact in human' s personal, social, and career life has many consequences.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
creates problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems to me the internet provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In fact, the internet is the source of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which everybody can access those based on their needs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the crucial importance of the internet in personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s life is not deniable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet for their routine daily work such as shopping, locating an unknown address, finding
Possible spelling mistake found.
job&
#039; s positions, ticket reservations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
, several months ago I found the research position through the internet in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it was
really
stressful for me to go another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it was my
first
experience and I did not know anything about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that I had to go. That time the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
the comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
the essential addresses like the location of the university, the dormitories around the campus and the rental fees that they had;
also
, I found the location of historical buildings and places in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and even I searched the various prices of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
and train tickets, depends on the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
services or the ordinary ones, for traveling one place to another one. By means of the internet and based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
through it, I traveled with more confident, easier and with more relaxation.
Also
, I could save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money by utilizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that I had.

Also
, in field of
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s career, the internet is the key element.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, we are dealing with the informatics world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can search every kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through the internet. At a moment, the news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
transmitted in the whole of the world. When the explosion happens in the other side of the world, you can find the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that the audience have. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
fields the importance of the internet is completely obvious.
For example
, I am studying chemistry. Every day scientists discover new achievements and post them on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
websites. Without them the enormous part of the up-to-date data and articles loss. One day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of existed sanctions that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
counterparts, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
websites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
blocked;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the motivation for finding new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
faced with problem and
practically
we lost the huge part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which by them we could guide to give novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the field that I was studying. As it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, without the internet the
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s career and social life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
paralyzed.

To put the issues into a nutshell, the internet provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which ignoring it as an inevitable fact in
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s personal, social, and career life has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Other think access to so much information creates problems. Which do you agree with? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
466 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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