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(08/11/2014) Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

(08/11/2014) Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. v. 2
People often hold different views about predicators resulting in crime. In my opinion, both nature and extrinsic elements as social issues and poverty are attributed to crime. There are several reasons as to why people argue that crime is a product of nature. It is mostly the case when people used to be more aggressive and impulsive than their peers, and these seemingly innate characteristics would exacerbate when they become a fully-grown up. Acting violently at an early age can somehow foretell their tendency of criminality in the later years. Furthermore, individuals who possess bad characteristics such as laziness or greedy are likely to offend because it is the easiest way of getting money without efforts. When those find that they are unable to afford necessities, or luxuries that they can see others enjoying, they are more likely to be tempted to steal. It is understandable why numerous individuals violate laws out of poverty. People who live below the poverty line are short on money and lack the basic necessities of life. Therefore, resorting to crime such as robbery is the last option that allows them to support themselves and their families. In addition, social issue such as drug abuse is blamed on criminal acts. Since excessive use of drugs could lead to behavioral problems. Moreover, if a person addicted to drugs, he is unable to support his addiction, followed by the fact that he might end up in a life of crime to fuel his habits. In conclusion, it seems to me that unlawful actions are originated from not only human nature but also social factors.
People
often
hold
different
views about
predicators
resulting in
crime
. In my opinion, both nature and extrinsic elements as social issues and poverty
are attributed
to crime.

There are several reasons as to why
people
argue that
crime
is a product of nature. It is
mostly
the case when
people
used
to be more aggressive and impulsive than their peers, and these
seemingly
innate characteristics would exacerbate when they become a
fully
-grown up. Acting
violently
at an early age can somehow foretell their tendency of criminality in the later years.
Furthermore
, individuals who possess
bad
characteristics such as laziness or greedy are likely to offend
because
it is the easiest way of getting money without efforts. When those find that they are unable to afford necessities, or luxuries that they can
see
others enjoying, they are more likely to
be tempted
to steal.

It is understandable why numerous individuals violate laws out of poverty.
People
who
live
below the poverty line are short on money and lack the
basic necessities
of life.
Therefore
, resorting to
crime
such as robbery is the last option that
allows
them to support themselves and their families.
In addition
, social issue such as drug abuse
is blamed
on criminal acts.
Since
excessive
use
of drugs could lead to behavioral problems.
Moreover
, if a person addicted to drugs, he is unable to support his addiction, followed by the fact that he might
end
up in a life of
crime
to fuel his habits.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that unlawful actions
are originated
from not
only
human nature
but
also
social factors.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay (08/11/2014) Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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