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Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. v. 3
It is condemned that the advanced technologies directly affect the communication skills in today's complex society. Although in a few specific contexts, I am against this statement, I am of the opinion that, by and large, the social interaction has been interrupted by the use of cell phones. Admittedly, the benefits of the enhanced technologies should not be denied. Firstly, the distance between people is not a concerning issue anymore as it has been overcome by mobile phones. Thus, people regularly keep in touch with their relatives who live abroad. Additionally, the introvert members of society are likely to become more active since expressing their ideas easily via various gadgets. As a result, they could be on the verge of more social which might be helpful for their future contacts. Consequently, the advantages of cell phones had better to be accepted. However, in general, I would support that the improved mobile devices disrupt the face-to-face contact due to the several reasons. To begin with, the value of talking with the family members is more likely to decrease since the most of people spend their spare time on using the gadgets. More specifically, the possible time with family has already been occupied with natural needs such as working or studying, in spite of it, the rest of time is squandered on different functions of mobile phones. Furthermore, the young children are growing in a telecommunication period which will lead to the hardship about making a friendship. For instance, I have never come across any difficulties in terms of talking to new people as I had a wide social life in my childhood. In conclusion, while the mobile access has made interaction easier, when viewed as a whole, I mostly believe that it avoids people of a live contact.
It
is condemned
that the advanced technologies
directly
affect the communication
skills
in
today
's complex society. Although in a few specific contexts, I am against this statement, I am of the opinion that, by and large, the social interaction has
been interrupted
by the
use
of cell phones.

Admittedly
, the benefits of the enhanced technologies should not
be denied
.
Firstly
, the distance between
people
is not a concerning issue anymore as it has
been overcome
by mobile phones.
Thus
,
people
regularly
keep
in touch with their relatives who
live
abroad.
Additionally
, the introvert members of society are likely to become more active since expressing their
ideas
easily
via various gadgets.
As a result
, they could be on the verge of more social which might be helpful for their future contacts.
Consequently
, the advantages of cell phones had better to be
accepted
.

However
,
in general
, I would support that the
improved
mobile devices disrupt the face-to-face contact due to the several reasons. To
begin
with, the value of talking with the family members is more likely to decrease since the most of
people
spend their spare time on using the gadgets. More
specifically
, the possible time with family has already
been occupied
with natural needs such as working or studying,
in spite of
it, the rest of time
is squandered
on
different
functions of mobile phones.
Furthermore
, the young children are growing in a telecommunication period which will lead to the hardship about making a friendship.
For instance
, I have never
come
across any difficulties in terms of talking to new
people
as I had a wide social life in my childhood.

In conclusion
, while the mobile access has made interaction easier, when viewed as a whole, I
mostly
believe that it avoids
people
of a
live
contact.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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