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The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.1

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. with this view? v. 1
It is often argued that high speed causes many accidents with the pedestrians and cars. Some people might think that the best method to decrease road accident is to implement more stronger policies for people who drive so fast. I strongly agree that idea and this essay will address the perspective of rapid drive. First of all, people would live their life safely in their society when the punishments are reinforced. Giving tickets to fast drivers affect the rate of car accidents and then it leads the safety of inhabitants’ life. For example, people can walk and cross the road very smoothly because the drivers cannot go quickly because if they are not intending the law, they might receive an expensive violation ticket by police. Furthermore, people do not worry about the car accident anymore. Moreover, fast driving may harm people’s health. In other words, when vehicles operate so quickly, the creation of noise would happen and then people could suffer the mental disease due to the noisy cars. And also, rapid vehicles would create so much emission gas because of the high speed it also deteriorates individuals’ health such as lung cancer. For instance, when the cars drive so fast like a lightning, their emission gas pollutes air, thenthen the environment of the community is destroyed. It makes peoples' health bad which means their life goes unhappy because they are frightened by unstable cars. In conclusion, all transportations are very necessary to our life in spite of the fact that it affects many accidents. However, I would say that government must give warnings for aggressive people who potentially harm other pedestrians. The powerful punishments are required to protect people in our society.
It is
often
argued that high speed causes
many
accidents
with the pedestrians and
cars
.
Some
people
might
think
that the best method to decrease road
accident
is to implement
more stronger
policies for
people
who drive
so
fast
. I
strongly
agree
that
idea
and this essay will address the perspective of rapid drive.

First of all
,
people
would
live
their
life
safely
in their society when the punishments
are reinforced
. Giving tickets to
fast
drivers affect the rate of
car
accidents
and then it leads the safety of inhabitants’
life
.
For example
,
people
can walk and cross the road
very
smoothly
because
the drivers cannot go
quickly
because
if they are not intending the law, they might receive an expensive violation ticket by police.
Furthermore
,
people
do not worry about the
car
accident
anymore.

Moreover
,
fast
driving may harm
people’s
health.
In other words
, when vehicles operate
so
quickly
, the creation of noise would happen and then
people
could suffer the mental disease due to the noisy
cars
. And
also
, rapid vehicles would create
so
much emission gas
because
of the high speed it
also
deteriorates individuals’ health such as lung cancer.
For instance
, when the
cars
drive
so
fast
like a lightning, their emission gas pollutes air,
thenthen
the environment of the community is
destroyed
. It
makes
peoples' health
bad
which means their
life
goes unhappy
because
they
are frightened
by unstable cars.

In conclusion
, all transportations are
very
necessary to our
life
in spite of
the fact that it affects
many
accidents
.
However
, I would say that
government
must
give warnings for aggressive
people
who
potentially
harm other pedestrians. The powerful punishments
are required
to protect
people
in our society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. with this view? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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