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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuus both views and give your opinion. v. 109 v.27

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuus both views and give your opinion. v. 109 v. 27
There is an argument between people about finding the most effective ways of having a good work. According to this, some people think that concluding the tertiary qualification is a good method, whereas it is believed by others that relying on the studied background and promoting simple abilities is more powerful. Overall, in my point of view, I believe that both academic learning and task experience are necessary to achieve a great work because both aspects are equally needed. First of all, tertiary education provides us with specific facts and solutions to possible problems in our future position. Gathered intelligence can help us with understanding and dealing with it factually, correctly and of course rightly. For example, jobs such as Doctors, architecture, and teachers cannot be experts of their task if they did not complete high education. Because the root of that kind of task is studying in the university and being highly educated. However, we have a range of careers which can be owned without any wisdom certificates. For example, they are taxi drivers, home cleaners, shop assistants and et cetera. Because they are all required only practical skills for example, taxi drivers should only know the roads and relationship abilities when talking to customers, so home cleaners and shop assistants also. They do not need a tertiary wisdom as their profession based only on physical activities, it is enough for them to be strong and know perfectly all duties of their profession. In conclusion, I think both tertiary qualifications and work experience are equally necessary for the coveted position, because some professions need highly educated people, but some of them do not need.
There is an argument between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about finding the most effective ways of having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work. According to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that concluding the tertiary qualification is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method, whereas it
is believed
by others that relying on the studied background and promoting simple abilities is more powerful.
Overall
, in my point of view, I believe that both academic learning and task experience are necessary to achieve a great work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both aspects are
equally
needed.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, tertiary education provides us with specific facts and solutions to possible problems in our future position. Gathered intelligence can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us with understanding and dealing with it
factually
,
correctly
and
of course
rightly
.
For example
, jobs such as Doctors, architecture, and teachers cannot be experts of their task if they did not complete high education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the root of that kind of task is studying in the university and being
highly
educated.

However
, we have a range of careers which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
without any wisdom certificates.
For example
, they are taxi drivers, home cleaners, shop assistants and
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they are all required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for example
, taxi drivers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
know the roads and relationship abilities when talking to customers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
home cleaners and shop assistants
also
. They do not need
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "tertiary wisdom".
a tertiary wisdom
as their profession based
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on physical activities, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for them to be strong and know
perfectly
all duties of their profession.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both tertiary qualifications and work experience are
equally
necessary for the coveted position,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions need
highly
educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them do not need.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuus both views and give your opinion. v. 109 v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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