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Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the responsibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the responsibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 1
Although, many believe that consumers are responsible for choosing products with lesser amount of packaging, others still consider that it is the supermarkets' responsibility to reduce this problem. In my view, the decision of supermarkets about reducing the amount of packaging is very influential to the people's mindset and so, they are more responsible about this. On the one hand, some think that supermarkets have greater role in decreasing the amount of product packaging as they are the seller and I agree. This means that they have control over the goods that they sell and so as with the packaging that they use. Canadian supermarkets, for instance, are now keeping the volume of plastic packaging that they use in fewer amounts to help the country become plastic-free. This has been influencing the public as they bring reusable bags for grocery shopping and opting not to use more plastic packaging. On the other hand, others argue that consumers share a big responsibility as well in keeping the number of product packaging low due to their freedom as buyers. In other words, individuals can fully decide which store sells products with lesser amount of packaging. An example would be Amazon, which is an online supermarket, that allows people to choose how many packages per shipping. This has greatly reduced the problem and thus, can help in the future generations to come. In conclusion, although opinions of people vary, I consider that supermarkets share more responsibility on the issue of reducing the packaging amounts of goods as they have a huge control over their sales.
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that consumers are responsible for choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
, others
still
consider that it is the supermarkets' responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this problem. In my view, the decision of supermarkets about reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mindset and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they are more responsible about this.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that supermarkets have greater role in decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
as they are the seller and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. This means that they have control over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that they sell and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Canadian supermarkets,
for instance
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
keeping the volume of plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the country become plastic-free. This has been influencing the public as they bring reusable bags for grocery shopping and opting not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more plastic packaging.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others argue that consumers share a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
responsibility
as well
in keeping the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
low due to their freedom as buyers. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, individuals can
fully
decide which store sells
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
. An example would be Amazon, which is an online supermarket, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to choose how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
packages per shipping. This has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the problem and
thus
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the future generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

In conclusion
, although opinions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vary, I consider that supermarkets share more responsibility on the issue of reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
as they have a huge control over their sales.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the responsibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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