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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. 5
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue whether the acceptance of the unsatisfactory conditions is a good idea or trying to improve the situation would be beneficial. A Convincing arguments can be made that accepting the worst circumstances, like an unhappy job or poverty, always teaches an adjustment in the life. People believe that being in such situations gives person strength, which helps fight with various ups and downs in life. For instance, I have been working for 12 hours every day for Google, the technology giant, for the past five years. Though the job is burdensome, I have learned three languages and I am planning to start my own business. On the other side, people assert that it would be more effective to overcome the uncomfortable conditions. If a person refuses to change the unpleasant situations and continues to bear it, she may suffer from poor health. For instance, many employees in the sales and marketing sector take immense pressure to increase revenues. This results in the highest incidence of heart ailments among these employees. Reducing the work pressure proves beneficial for the employees as well as employers as this promotes the former’s health while improving their work productivity. To recapitulate, I would conclude that people argue over whether to adjust with bad situations or to find some other way to improve them. In my opinion, trying for the best is a good approach, but to be in such conditions where people have to adjust, would give more learning and experience of the life.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue whether the acceptance of the unsatisfactory conditions is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
or trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
would be beneficial.

A Convincing
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "argument"?
arguments
can
be made
that accepting the worst circumstances, like an unhappy job or poverty, always teaches an adjustment in the life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that being in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
gives person strength, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
fight with various ups and downs in life.
For instance
, I have been working for 12 hours every day for Google, the technology giant, for the past five years. Though the job is burdensome, I have learned three
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
languages and
I am planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that it would be more effective to overcome the uncomfortable conditions. If a person refuses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the unpleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and continues to bear it, she may suffer from poor health.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees in the sales and marketing sector take immense pressure to increase revenues. This results in the highest incidence of heart ailments among these employees. Reducing the work pressure proves beneficial for the employees
as well
as employers as this promotes the former’s health while improving their work productivity.

To recapitulate, I would conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue over whether to adjust with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
or to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them. In my opinion, trying for the best is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to be in such conditions where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adjust, would give more learning and experience of the life.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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