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Nowadays many people believe that children should be tought history in schools however others argue that children should learn subjects that are more helpful for modern everyday life. Discuss both point of views and give your opinion. v.2

Nowadays many people believe that children should be tought history in schools however others argue that children should learn subjects that are more helpful for modern everyday life. v. 2
Education is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the world. However, one of the most controversial issue today relates to education. People think that children should learn history in schools while, others believe that, learning modern subjects are much better to run on a progressive track thesedays. In this essay, i will explore the dimensions of this topic and shape up my opinion on the behalf of both point of views. First step is to understand, why some people think that children should learn history in schools? Broadly speaking, the prominent reason for believing this is knowledge. It not only imparts our knowledge about our ancestors, it also teach us about the culture of a society. Secondly, french history is crucial to understand about the french food, language, manners, and ethiquattes which shows the difference that french people are different from germans and Britishers. Particularly, the best epitome of this is that the recent survey had been conducted by the Hindustan Times which illustrates that 7 outoff 10 students were interested in learning history. On the other hand, the opposing group of people argue that learning modern subjects such as science, mathematics, accounting management is vital for developing a strong carrer. Modern business need professionals who are proficient in science and other subjects as well. They do not need employees who have a background in history. For example, hospitals, automobile companies, businesses construction need doctos, civil engineers, mechanical engineers respectively. There is no space for historians. Thus, to earn sufficient money for a comfortable life. Children should learn science subjects. To conclude, children should learn both history and modern subjects because, history inculcate us knowledge about our culture and moral ethics, it cannot give us a respectable living. Modern subjects, on the other hand, can secure a carrer but not create a roots that from the cultural identity.
Education is the most powerful weapon which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world.
However
, one of the most controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in schools while, others believe that, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are much better to run on a progressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will explore the dimensions of this topic and shape up my opinion on the behalf of both point of views.

First
step is to understand, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in schools?
Broadly
speaking, the prominent reason for believing this is knowledge. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
imparts our knowledge about our ancestors, it
also
Did you mean "teaches"?
teach
us about the culture of a society.
Secondly
, french
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is crucial to understand about the
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
food, language, manners, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ethiquattes
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the difference that
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
germans
and Britishers.
Particularly
, the best epitome of this is that the recent survey had
been conducted
by the Hindustan Times which illustrates that 7
Possible spelling mistake found.
outoff
10 students
were interested
in learning history.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the opposing group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science, mathematics, accounting management is vital for developing a strong
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
business need professionals who are proficient in science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as well
. They do not need employees who have a background in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
For example
, hospitals, automobile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, businesses construction need
Possible spelling mistake found.
doctos
, civil engineers, mechanical engineers
respectively
. There is no space for historians.
Thus
, to earn sufficient money for a comfortable life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
science subjects.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
inculcate us knowledge about our culture and moral ethics, it cannot give us a respectable living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, can secure a
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not create
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a root" or simply "roots"?
a roots
that from the cultural identity.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people believe that children should be tought history in schools however others argue that children should learn subjects that are more helpful for modern everyday life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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