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High-school students should take a gap year before going to university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.1

High-school students should take a gap year before going to university. with this statement. v. 1
Some people believe that pupils had better take a gap year between school and university. From my perspective, I completely agree with this view. It is true that a gap year is a great occasion for students to have more me-time. We have time to reflect on ourselves about our abilities. Working for different careers is a good way to find out our strengths, weaknesses and hobbies so that we can understand which major or field is suitable for us and then make one special plan for our future. This is also a time we reward ourselves after twelve years learning. We enjoy our life by traveling to another place or doing some exciting challenges that we have no chance to do before. Besides, we will make a better preparation after a gap year. We spend this time earning money to pay fees when coming back to school. Because we have to leave far from our family, besides tuitions we also pay costs of living such as food, drink, transports and dwelling. In addition, we will acquire more knowledge and improve our skills. By going to new lands, we are exposed to many cultures and people so we can learn new things, experiences and skills from them. Experiences and skills are good points when applying for a job. In conclusion, gap year is an ideal opportunity for students to have more time to do whatever we want and to prepare better for our future. I believe that there should be a gap year before high-school pupils attend university.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that pupils had better take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
between school and university. From my perspective, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

It is true that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is a great occasion for students to have more me-time. We have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reflect on ourselves about our abilities. Working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
careers is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to find out our strengths, weaknesses and hobbies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can understand which major or field is suitable for us and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one special plan for our future. This is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we reward ourselves after twelve years learning. We enjoy our life by traveling to another place or doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exciting challenges that we have no chance to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Besides
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better preparation after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. We spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
earning money to pay fees when coming back to school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
far from our family,
besides
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
we
also
pay costs of living such as food, drink, transports and dwelling.
In addition
, we will acquire more knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. By going to new lands, we
are exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can learn new things, experiences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from them. Experiences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points when applying for a job.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is an ideal opportunity for students to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do whatever we want and to prepare better for our future. I believe that there should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
high-school pupils attend university.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay High-school students should take a gap year before going to university. with this statement. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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