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Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that? v.6

Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that? v. 6
Children are considered as the future generation, and thus their upbringing plays an integral part in our society. Moreover, there is a school of thought which believes farming and cookery should be included in the school curriculum. In my view, it is undoubtedly propitious for children in several ways. In this essay, we shall discuss this topic further. Firstly, inculcating the ideology of farming and cooking provides the child with an array of knowledge about the various techniques and skills required to grow, cultivate, and harvest different crops and vegetables. Furthermore, it delivers the importance of specific ingredients crucial in some dishes; for example, onions and tomatoes are considered the essential requirement for numerous dishes. Similarly, it also provides the nutritional value of several food items and even the required consumption. Secondly, more fundamentally, it teaches a child about value; for instance, the patience and labour necessary for growing a crop incorporate respect for the food as well as people. Additionally, acknowledging the importance at an early age has a tremendous impact. Lastly, it acts as a life skill that they would be beneficial to them in the future. To illustrate, in the long run, they can grow their food as well as cook it to suffice their appetite rather than depending on restaurants or fast foods. In addition to this, they would also be able to share and help others with their knowledge. To summarise, it is what we teach our children that shapes and refines the future. Therefore, introducing agriculture and cooking in school lectures would be profoundly significant for children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are considered
as the future generation, and
thus
their upbringing plays an integral part in our society.
Moreover
, there is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
which believes farming and cookery should
be included
in the school curriculum. In my view, it is
undoubtedly
propitious for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in several ways. In this essay, we shall discuss this topic
further
.

Firstly
, inculcating the ideology of farming and cooking provides the child with an array of knowledge about the various techniques and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to grow, cultivate, and harvest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
crops and vegetables.
Furthermore
, it delivers the importance of specific ingredients crucial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dishes;
for example
, onions and tomatoes
are considered
the essential requirement for numerous dishes.
Similarly
, it
also
provides the nutritional value of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items and even the required consumption.

Secondly
, more
fundamentally
, it teaches a child about value;
for instance
, the patience and
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
necessary for growing a crop incorporate respect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Additionally
, acknowledging the importance at an early age has a tremendous impact.
Lastly
, it acts as a life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that they would be beneficial to them in the future. To illustrate, in the long run, they can grow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as cook it to suffice their appetite
rather
than depending on restaurants or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
In addition
to this, they would
also
be able to share and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others with their knowledge.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it is what we teach our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that shapes and refines the future.
Therefore
, introducing agriculture and cooking in school lectures would be
profoundly
significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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