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All over the world people spend more time on sports and exercises these days. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give your opinion with supporting examples from your own experience. v.2

All over the world people spend more time on sports and exercises these days. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give your opinion with supporting examples from your own experience. v. 2
Nowadays, plenty of time is spent on exercising and doing sports by humans across the world. In my opinion, putting more effort in physical activities has many advantages. However, there are some negative impacts as a result of this trend. First of all, boosting the immune system is a significant advantage due to exercising. This means that their body creates a barrier for viruses and bacteria, making them healthier compared to individuals who do not involve themselves in any kind of sport. Secondly, exercising regularly not only keeps the body in shape, but also brings more attracted towards the people. It is clearly known that men or women carrying toned muscles, are more noticeable during summer time. For example, a close friend of mine is a personal trainer and is known to make a lot of new friends, when he goes to the beach. Thirdly, daily exercises help people feel better mentally and relieved from stresses. This may lead to building more self confidence and developing better attitude. On the other hand, exercising and doing sports surely have some serious drawbacks as well. One of the major concerns is that, athletes or even beginners can get severe injuries during this period. For instance, the German player David Bust broke his leg during a match, which resulted in a career-ending injury and forcing him to leave football forever. The second disadvantage is that, spending abundant time on sports or different activities may lead to neglecting other duties. Children who exercise a lot throughout the day seem to not care about their homework. In conclusion, there are more positives in spending time for exercising, as it plays a huge role in keeping the body fit and not being exposed to different illnesses. Moreover, it helps the people boost their self-esteem and relieve the stresses of the day. However, there is a high possibility of conceding long-time injuries while exercising. Added to that, dedicating the whole time to sports, leads in not completing other daily tasks.
Nowadays,
plenty
of
time
is spent
on
exercising
and doing
sports
by humans across the world. In my opinion, putting more effort in physical activities has
many
advantages.
However
, there are
some
negative
impacts
as a result
of this trend.

First of all
, boosting the immune system is a significant advantage due to
exercising
. This means that their body creates a barrier for viruses and bacteria, making them healthier compared to individuals who do not involve themselves in any kind of
sport
.
Secondly
,
exercising
regularly
not
only
keeps
the body in shape,
but
also
brings more attracted towards the
people
. It is
clearly
known that
men
or women carrying toned muscles, are more noticeable during summer
time
.
For example
, a close friend of mine is a personal trainer and
is known
to
make
a lot of
new friends, when he goes to the beach.
Thirdly
, daily exercises
help
people
feel better mentally and relieved from
stresses
. This may lead to building more
self confidence
and developing better attitude.

On the other hand
,
exercising
and doing
sports
surely
have
some
serious drawbacks
as well
. One of the major concerns is that, athletes or even beginners can
get
severe injuries during this period.
For instance
, the German player David Bust broke his leg during a match, which resulted in a career-ending injury and forcing him to
leave
football forever. The second disadvantage is that, spending abundant
time
on
sports
or
different
activities may lead to neglecting other duties. Children who exercise a lot throughout the day seem to not care about their homework.

In conclusion
, there are more positives in spending
time
for
exercising
, as it plays a huge role in keeping the body fit and not
being exposed
to
different
illnesses.
Moreover
, it
helps
the
people
boost their self-esteem and relieve the
stresses
of the day.
However
, there is a high possibility of conceding long-time injuries while
exercising
.
Added
to that, dedicating the whole
time
to
sports
, leads in not completing other daily tasks.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay All over the world people spend more time on sports and exercises these days. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give your opinion with supporting examples from your own experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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