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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.12

The Essay: There is often a debate as to whether children should be motivated by parents to take part in team activities in their spare time, or it is critical that they acquire the skill to remain engaged by themselves. Advocates of the view that children ought to learn about keeping busy without assistance from others, contend that they would have the advantage of being self-reliant and organized. Moreover, they would be less influenced by others’ opinions and develop the art of decision making. This quality would do them good in adulthood. On the other hand, when children participate in group or team acts with the encouragement of parents, they get immense exposure and tend to be more active. They see their peers doing the same activity in different ways and inculcate adaptability by learning new things. For example, when the renowned cricketer Sachin Tendulkar enrolled in a cricket team on the advice of parents, he learnt new techniques and subsequently went on to be India’s top player. Additionally, planned group activities with the motivation of parents will teach children valuable life skills of team work, leadership, compatibility and empathy amongst others, since they are tried and tested to be beneficial. Furthermore, there would be fewer chances of mishaps occurring inadvertently during their engagements, since children are generally more hyperactive. In conclusion, in my point of view, it is certainly good for children to be exhorted by parents into collective activities in their leisure hours. Nonetheless, some time should also be set aside when children get training on doing things on their own with no parental intervention, since this would make them independent.
The Essay: There is
often
a debate
as to whether
children
should
be motivated
by
parents
to
take part
in
team
activities
in their spare time, or it is critical that they acquire the
skill
to remain engaged by themselves.

Advocates of the view that
children
ought to learn about keeping busy without assistance from others, contend that they would have the advantage of being self-reliant and organized.
Moreover
, they would be less influenced by others’ opinions and develop the art of
decision making
. This quality would do them
good
in adulthood.

On the
other
hand, when
children
participate in group or
team
acts with the encouragement of
parents
, they
get
immense exposure and tend to be more active. They
see
their peers doing the same
activity
in
different
ways and inculcate adaptability by learning new things.
For example
, when the renowned cricketer
Sachin
Tendulkar
enrolled in a cricket
team
on the advice of
parents
, he
learnt
new techniques and
subsequently
went on to be India’s top player.

Additionally
, planned group
activities
with the motivation of
parents
will teach
children
valuable life
skills
of
team
work, leadership, compatibility and empathy amongst others, since they
are tried
and
tested
to be beneficial.
Furthermore
, there would be fewer chances of mishaps occurring
inadvertently
during their engagements, since
children
are
generally
more hyperactive.

In conclusion
, in my point of view, it is
certainly
good
for
children
to
be exhorted
by
parents
into collective
activities
in their leisure hours. Nonetheless,
some
time should
also
be set
aside when
children
get
training on doing things on their
own
with no parental intervention, since this would
make
them independent.
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IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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