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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.9

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. v. 9
While some have an opinion that children should learn to keep themselves busy, other people believe that children should be encouraged by their parents to involve in group activities. This essay will look into how a child should spend their spare time before drawing a final conclusion. On the one hand, there are many children who do not get along with others easily because of several reasons. Moreover, they may be living in a place where they could not find other children in the neighborhood. Due to this, they are required to keep themselves occupied on their own and find some activities that can be done alone. This can be helpful for them to think creatively and do some innovative things. For example, a research paper published by a well-known university sates that 60% of children who mostly stay alone turned out to be great thinkers. On the other hand, group activities allow a child to enhance their communication and teamwork skills. These skills are extremely important for children to learn, because when their practical life begins, they have to deal with a lot of people and work in an office with other employees as a team. For instance, being part of a sports team teaches them to communicate effectively with others, and how one should work as a team. Hence, I strongly believe that parents should back their children to be part of things where they have to interact with others. Doing so will not only prepare them for adult life but also provide them skills that will help in their future. To conclude, although children should know how to stay busy, when alone, in their leisure time, it is more important for them to gain knowledge of abilities that will be helpful in practical life.
While
some
have an opinion that
children
should learn to
keep
themselves busy,
other
people
believe that
children
should
be encouraged
by their parents to involve in group activities. This essay will look into how a child should spend their spare time
before
drawing a final conclusion.

On the one hand, there are
many
children
who do not
get
along with others
easily
because
of several reasons.
Moreover
, they may be living in a place where they could not find
other
children
in the neighborhood. Due to this, they
are required
to
keep
themselves occupied on their
own
and find
some
activities that can
be done
alone. This can be helpful for them to
think
creatively
and do
some
innovative things.
For example
, a research paper published by a well-known university sates that 60% of
children
who
mostly
stay alone turned out to be great thinkers.

On the
other
hand, group activities
allow
a child to enhance their communication and teamwork
skills
. These
skills
are
extremely
important
for
children
to learn,
because
when their practical life
begins
, they
have to
deal with
a lot of
people
and work in an office with
other
employees as a team.
For instance
, being part of a sports team teaches them to communicate
effectively
with others, and how one should work as a team.
Hence
, I
strongly
believe that parents should back their
children
to be part of things where they
have to
interact with others. Doing
so
will not
only
prepare them for adult life
but
also
provide them
skills
that will
help
in their future.

To conclude
, although
children
should know how to stay busy, when alone, in their leisure time, it is more
important
for them to gain knowledge of abilities that will be helpful in practical life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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