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In Some countries, some people are renting accommodation, while others are buying their own homes. Does renting an accommodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place? v.2

In Some countries, some people are renting accommodation, while others are buying their own homes. Does renting an accommodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place? v. 2
It is undeniably true that basic human right to live is unfulfilled without having a roof on our head. Though the people from different countries might have different opinions on whether to own a place or to rent a temporary premise, I believe that owning a house is always advantageous than renting it. I would elucidate the pros and cons of the two types of accommodations in the following paragraphs. Firstly, buying an own house has myriad benefits. The key factor is the financial aspect of it, because of the favourable home loan interest rates from the banks, the cost of the monthly rent for a rented space and the monthly interest payment on their home loan are much the same. To exemplify this point, as per the recent survey, around 55% of the urban dwellers in UK are interested to have their own place to live rather than renting a condo. It simply clarifies that the idea of owning a home is more advantageous than renting a home. In addition to the above benefits, another crucial aspect is the sense of ownership and the memorable life moments that the families can build by living in their own space. The homeowners need not be concerned to perform any custom modifications required in their home, otherwise it is not possible in a rented accommodation. Either it can be an interior decoration or a custom furnishing, owners can opt in. Irrefutably, the pride of owning a home and the more beautiful life moments built around it are priceless. For example, in my case after many awfully situations at our rental place, we decided to buy our own apartment, which we always see as a wise decision. However, we should also consider the other side of the coin, where renting a home can give the freedom to toggle between different communities whenever its necessary. Especially the maintenance costs of the home, which will be borne by the owner itself, make the rented places an attractive choice for the house seekers. This proves that rented places offer some flexibility compared to the owned accommodations. In conclusion, the concept of owing an accommodation has undisputed lead over the idea of renting a space, pertaining to the fact that their pros are more comparable to the cons.
It is
undeniably
true that basic human right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is unfulfilled
without having a roof on our head. Though the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or to rent a temporary premise, I believe that owning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is always advantageous than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
it. I would elucidate the pros and cons of the two types of accommodations in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, buying an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has myriad benefits. The key factor is the financial aspect of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
home loan interest rates from the banks, the cost of the monthly rent for a rented space and the monthly interest payment on their home loan are much the same. To exemplify this point, as per the recent survey, around 55% of the urban dwellers in UK
are interested
to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a condo. It
simply
clarifies that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of owning a home is more advantageous than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a home.

In addition
to the above benefits, another crucial aspect is the sense of ownership and the memorable life moments that the families can build by living in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
space. The homeowners need not
be concerned
to perform any custom modifications required in their home,
otherwise
it is not possible in a rented accommodation. Either it can be an interior decoration or a custom furnishing, owners can opt in.
Irrefutably
, the pride of owning a home and the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
life moments built around it are priceless.
For example
, in my case after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
awfully situations at our rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, we decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
apartment, which we always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
as a wise decision.

However
, we should
also
consider the other side of the coin, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a home can give the freedom to toggle between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communities whenever its necessary.
Especially
the maintenance costs of the home, which will
be borne
by the owner itself,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
an attractive choice for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
seekers. This proves that rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flexibility compared to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
accommodations.

In conclusion
, the concept of owing
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
has undisputed lead over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a space, pertaining to the fact that their pros are more comparable to the cons.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In Some countries, some people are renting accommodation, while others are buying their own homes. Does renting an accommodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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