Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. other say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.16

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. other say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. v. 16
These days people believe that parents of a child should make arrangements such as play dates and other group activities to engage them and keep them busy. But, some argue that children should be left to themselves and learn to play on their own. Although both the scenarios provide equal opportunity for learning, I believe that the former statement is more valuable than the latter. On the one hand, organised activities expose a kid to a variety of talents and skills for learning from their peers. For instance, if a child is enrolled in a group swimming class, the kid will initially have a hard time learning the new skill. But seeing other children who are also novice like them, they can discuss the techniques that are easy and comfortable for them. This will enable them to try different approaches in order to achieve the desired result. On the other hand, leaving children to play by themselves will probably result in boredom initially. However, after a few failed attempts, to amuse themselves, they tend to bring out some innovative ideas to keep them busy. For example, on a day when a boy is stuck at home and left to play on his own there might be some struggle in the beginning, but later on as time passes by they eventually end up with quiet interesting ideas and invent their own games to play. While arranging for group activities is not always possible, children will develop better creativity when left to play on their own. To conclude, even though self play develops creativity and innovation in a child, according to me exposure to various talents and diverse thinking is what a kid primarily needs during this developmental phase of their life.
These days
people
believe that parents of a child should
make
arrangements such as
play
dates and other group activities to engage them and
keep
them busy.
But
,
some
argue that
children
should be
left
to themselves and learn to
play
on their
own
. Although both the scenarios provide equal opportunity for learning, I believe that the former statement is more valuable than the latter.

On the one hand,
organised
activities expose a kid to a variety of talents and
skills
for learning from their peers.
For instance
, if a child
is enrolled
in a group swimming
class
, the kid will
initially
have a
hard
time learning the new
skill
.
But
seeing other
children
who are
also
novice like them, they can discuss the techniques that are easy and comfortable for them. This will enable them to try
different
approaches in order to achieve the desired result.

On the other hand
, leaving
children
to
play
by themselves will
probably
result in boredom
initially
.
However
, after a few failed attempts, to amuse themselves, they tend to bring out
some
innovative
ideas
to
keep
them busy.
For example
, on a day when a boy
is stuck
at home and
left
to
play
on his
own
there might be
some
struggle in the beginning,
but
later on as time passes by they
eventually
end
up with quiet interesting
ideas
and invent their
own
games to
play
. While arranging for group activities is not always possible,
children
will develop better creativity when
left
to
play
on their
own
.

To conclude
,
even though
self
play
develops creativity and innovation in a child, according to me exposure to various talents and diverse thinking is what a kid
primarily
needs during this developmental phase of their life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. other say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts