Some people say that parents should control their children’s behavior from a very young age. What do you think? v.2
Some people say that parents should control their children’s behavior from a very young age. What do you think? v. 2
the period of childhood is the most critical stage in the lives of children. Some people think that children must be monitored and under surveillances during their childhood. Others have no such strict rules upon children. However, for many reasons which will be mentioned below, I strongly believe that children must be controlled by their families.
The first reason why children have to be put under notice is that they cannot distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. To illustrate, every family is solely responsible for its children behaviour. In other words, their parents must know how and what kind behaviour their children are heading to. Such knowledge will immensely help the family to maintain their children and provide them with a good conduct. Consequently, such children will be of a noble and great behaviour.
The second reason why children must undergo strict rules of behaviour is that they are the pioneers of future. In other words, children should be taught and instructed with a good pattern of behaviour which appeals to all those around them. Additionally, the family is the first who can implement such way in order to be able to cope with their lives properly. Hence, having obtained and acquired such good behaviour, children are expected to be the future-makers who will excel in their lives.
To recap, it is without denial that children should be subjected to strict rules of behaviour. This will direct them to the right path and will tremendously contribute in shaping their future. So, every family is advised to do the above in order to produce a promising and noble child whose contribution in society will be of great importance. 
 the
 period of childhood is the most critical stage in the  
lives
 of  
children
.  
Some
  people
  think
 that  
children
  must
  be monitored
 and under  
surveillances
 during their childhood. Others have no such strict  
rules
 upon  
children
.  
However
, for  
many
 reasons which will  
be mentioned
 below, I  
strongly
 believe that  
children
  must
  be controlled
 by their families.
The  
first
 reason why  
children
  have to
  be put
 under notice is that they cannot distinguish between what is right and what is  
wrong
. To illustrate, every  
family
 is  
solely
 responsible for its  
children
  behaviour
.  
In other words
, their parents  
must
 know how and what kind  
behaviour
 their  
children
 are heading to. Such knowledge will  
immensely
  help
 the  
family
 to maintain their  
children
 and provide them with a  
good
 conduct.  
Consequently
, such  
children
 will be of a noble and great  
behaviour
.
The second reason why  
children
  must
 undergo strict  
rules
 of  
behaviour
 is that they are the pioneers of future.  
In other words
,  
children
 should  
be taught
 and instructed with a  
good
 pattern of  
behaviour
 which appeals to all those around them.  
Additionally
, the  
family
 is the  
first
 who can implement such way in order to be able to cope with their  
lives
  properly
.  
Hence
, having obtained and acquired such  
good
  behaviour
,  
children
 are  
expected
 to be the future-makers who will excel in their  
lives
.
To recap, it is without denial that  
children
 should  
be subjected
 to strict  
rules
 of  
behaviour
. This will direct them to the right path and will  
tremendously
 contribute in shaping their future.  
So
, every  
family
  is advised
 to do the above in order to produce a promising and noble child whose contribution in society will be of great importance. 
 14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes