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It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people have a credit card, a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people have a credit card, a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? v. 5
These days, going into debt is a normal thing. It is almost impossible to buy a house without the help of a someone, and people hardly give this a second thought. Although, borrowing money can give people some opportunities they would not have otherwise, I believe that, going into credit is very risky. Firstly, on some occasions, borrowing cash can help people improve their circumstances. For instance, if a person is aware of the risk and they do his or her maths carefully, he or she can pay less, monthly, for a mortgage than they would for rent, and enjoy the added advantage of owning a property. Therefore, it is undoubtedly a good choice to do this action. The feeling you have when people live in their own house is matchless and it's worth the risk. On the other hand, in spite of these benefits, lending money can also pose quite a lot of danger. For example, if someone gets a credit on a house at a bad time, he or she can end up stuck paying much more than the property is actually worth. Moreover, if they do not succeed in getting a debt lots of people decide to borrow from entrust one like pawnbrokers. To summarize, people can easily borrow some cash if they actually need, but they do not have to trust other people then banks. Therefore, borrowing fund, having a credit card or a mortgage is risky at some point but may be very useful if people do not have the chance to buy a property. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is a good idea to borrow money in some circumstances, but without a great deal of caution it can pose serious danger.
These days, going into debt is a normal thing. It is almost impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Possible typo. Did you mean "a" or "someone"?
a someone
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hardly give this a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. Although, borrowing money can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities they would not have
otherwise
, I believe that, going into credit is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
risky.

Firstly
, on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasions, borrowing cash can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their circumstances.
For instance
, if a person is aware of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
risk and
they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
carefully
, he or she can pay less, monthly, for a mortgage than they would for rent, and enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage of owning a property.
Therefore
, it is
undoubtedly
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice to do this action. The feeling you have when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is matchless and it's worth the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
these benefits, lending money can
also
pose quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
For example
, if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a credit on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
time, he or she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up stuck paying much more than the property is actually worth.
Moreover
, if they do not succeed in getting a debt lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to borrow from entrust one like pawnbrokers.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
borrow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cash if they actually need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
trust other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then banks.
Therefore
, borrowing fund, having a credit card or a mortgage is risky at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a property. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to borrow money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without a great deal of caution it can pose serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people have a credit card, a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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