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some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to the seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.28

some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to the seen in a cinema. v. 28
Books are a great source to gain knowledge, our career starts with studying books in schools. Other side, experience also help us to increase our skills in the professional field. In my point of view, books will play an essential part in human growth. I am going to discuss in detail in regards to these two elements with examples in this essay. Our ancestors wrote many great books about personality development, human behaviour, financial growth, etc. Personally, I learned many things after reading many books. For instance, before reading the book ‘Atomic Habits’ written by James Clear, I was poor at decision making. I have been taking wrong decisions throughout my life, because lack of confidence. This book guided me towards the right path. I learned how to focus on my goals and how to utilise my time in a correct manner. I couldn’t able to learn these good habits without reading this book. We cannot learn everything from our practice. Sometimes, we need a guidance to grow in our career, therefore we will require books to learn certain things. Other hand, training will teach us to master in our professional race. By performing repetitive tasks in our life, we could avoid mistakes and complete assignments quite quickly. For example, if we consider any profession, such as doctors, IT employees or lawyers, their value will grow according to their experience. Senior doctors could analyse the patient’s decease quite immediately when compared to new doctors. To conclude this, practice and books will play a crucial role in our lives, however, any human being starts their career with reading books or any course materials. So, books are more important than experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
are a great source to gain knowledge, our career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in schools. Other side, experience
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to increase our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the professional field. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will play an essential part in human growth. I am going to discuss in detail
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
these two elements with examples in this essay.

Our ancestors wrote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
about personality development, human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, financial growth, etc.
Personally
, I learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
‘Atomic Habits’ written by James
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Clear
, I was poor at
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. I have been taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions throughout my life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lack of confidence. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
guided me towards the right path. I learned how to focus on my goals and how to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
my time
Consider replacing "in a correct manner" with the adverb for "correct"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a correct manner
. I couldn’t able to learn these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. We cannot learn everything from our practice.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, we need a guidance to grow in our career,
therefore
we will require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to learn certain things.

Other hand, training will teach us to master in our professional race. By performing repetitive tasks in our life, we could avoid mistakes and complete assignments quite
quickly
.
For example
, if we consider any profession, such as doctors, IT employees or lawyers, their value will grow according to their experience. Senior doctors could
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the patient’s decease quite immediately when compared to new doctors.

To conclude
this, practice and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will play a crucial role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
however
, any human being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
their career with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or any course materials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than experience.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to the seen in a cinema. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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