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Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.5

Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. with this statement v. 5
It is undeniably true that, the government must utilize the money of people to improve different modes of transportation. Some people say that developing railways should be the priority rather than the roads. I agree with this opinion and following are the reasons to believe so. Firstly, travelling by trains provides the golden opportunity for people to save their time. For example, in this world where every person is in a hurry and time is precious to everyone, trains play a major role in helping people save it. This is because long distances can be cut short, if one chooses to travel by train. Furthermore, the railway is an excellent means of transporting goods, heavy loads and machinery across the cities. Thus, if government makes smooth and well-developed railway tracks, both the time and money could be saved and goods transported easily. Secondly, air pollution could be decreased to a great extent, if trains replace buses and cars as a source of commute. For instance, a single train can easily accommodate hundreds of passengers at one time, hence lowering down the number of vehicles on the roads, leading ultimately to less consumption of fuel and a decrease in polluted air. Additionally, with more use of railways, the number of road traffic accidents would also lower down enormously. Since, roads would have a limited number of vehicles and this would promote the obedience of traffic rules. To conclude, although developed roads are an important part of the infrastructure of any country, but improving railways is far more beneficial. This renovation not only helps people save money and time but also maintains a clean environment and lessens the number of accidents by reducing the rush and congestion on roads.
It is
undeniably
true that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
utilize the money of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of transportation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
should be the priority
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and following are the reasons to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Firstly
, travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
provides the golden opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, in this world where every person is in a hurry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is precious to everyone,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
play a major role in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
long distances can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
short, if one chooses to travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
is an excellent means of transporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, heavy loads and machinery across the cities.
Thus
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
smooth and well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money could
be saved
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
transported
easily
.

Secondly
, air pollution could
be decreased
to a great extent, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
replace buses and cars as a source of commute.
For instance
, a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
can
easily
accommodate hundreds of passengers at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
hence
lowering down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of vehicles on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, leading
ultimately
to less consumption of fuel and a decrease in polluted air.
Additionally
, with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
traffic accidents would
also
lower down
enormously
. Since,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
would have a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of vehicles and this would promote the obedience of traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

To conclude
, although developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the infrastructure of any country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is far more beneficial. This renovation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
maintains a clean environment and lessens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of accidents by reducing the rush and congestion on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. with this statement v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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