Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.19

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 19
Some would argue that there is no point going to the movie centre to watch movies since we can access any movies of our choice via the internet-enabled phone. While others opine that the cinema is the best way to go. In my opinion, using our phone to watch films are more convenient when compared to the cinema. On the one hand, the supporter of the view that watching movies in the theatre is more enjoyable to believe so because the incomparable entertainment enjoys as a result of the technology used in the cinema. This insinuates that high equipped tech used in theatre usually gives the movies better sound effect and the picture quality of the film is second to none. As a result, it gives the audience a strong connection with the movies at every scene. Also, people watch the film at the cinema because they don't want to be interrupted by any form of distractions. For instance, watching movies via YouTube comes with a different advert which can be overwhelming in some cases. On the other hand, it is often thought by some that movies should via smart-phone and I agree. To begin with, when movies are being watched using mobile phones bring convenience to the viewer. In other words, they have the freedom to watch it any time of the day and anywhere that is convenient for them, unlike the cinema which is restricted to a particular time. For example, the ability to pause or playback movie while watching via smartphone cannot be done in the cinema. In addition, it is cheaper to watch movies via tablet because it does not require to buy ticket fee or snacks cost that is attached to the movie cost. Thus, the opportunity to save cost on drink and popcorn. In conclusion, while people have a varying opinion, I am of the view that it is cheaper and convenient to watch movies on our mobile phone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that there is no point going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
since we can access any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
of our choice via the internet-enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is the best way to go. In my opinion, using our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films are more convenient when compared to the cinema.

On the one hand, the supporter of the view that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is more enjoyable to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the incomparable entertainment enjoys
as a result
of the technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. This insinuates that high equipped tech
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
usually
gives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
better sound effect and the picture quality of the film is second to none.
As a result
, it gives the audience a strong connection with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at every scene.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the film at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't want to
be interrupted
by any form of distractions.
For instance
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
via YouTube
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advert which can be overwhelming in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should via smart-phone and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
bring convenience to the viewer.
In other words
, they have the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it any time of the day and anywhere
that is
convenient for them, unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
which
is restricted
to a particular time.
For example
, the ability to pause or playback
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
while watching via smartphone cannot
be done
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
In addition
, it is cheaper to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
via tablet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not require to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ticket fee or snacks cost that
is attached
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
cost.
Thus
, the opportunity to save cost on drink and popcorn.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a varying opinion, I am of the view that it is cheaper and convenient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on our mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts